Messages from the Fans
by inkdragon13
Summary: "Why did you come here?" "Oh, that's easy! We are here to deliver messages to you all from your millions of fans!" Two girls show up in the base from the Ground Bridge and have more than a few surprises for the Autobots! If you could say, ask or give anything to the Autobots, what would it be?
1. What just happened?

**I was suddenly struck by inspiration in the shower yesterday... It's amazing where your mind goes when you're not really thinking about anything... **

**Anyway, I'll be referencing the Transformers post 2007 live action films a lot in future chaps. There will be a lot of fan girl-ness, too. This particular chap is told from Ratchet's POV. I don't own Transformers: Prime or the movies. Nor am I making any money off this. I am doing this for the heck of it. **

**Here's a little legend for you all. You'll need it in later chaps.**

**Astrosecond- 273 seconds**

**Breem- 8.3 minutes**

**Joor- 1 hour**

**Solar cycle- 1 day**

**Orn- 13 days**

**Vorn- 83 years**

**You ready? Let's go!**

"Is this thing even gonna work?"

"It had better! Do you know how much money I paid to get the materials for this?"

"I know, I know. You told me a million times already. Why am I here, exactly?"

"I thought you wanted see them!"

"Yeah, but I'm not a..."

I looked up from the Ground Bridge monitor again, thoroughly unnerved. All solar cycle I've been hearing two female voices bickering back and forth at each other but I could not find the source of the sound. They weren't coming from the halls and got rather loud when you stood close to the Ground Bridge. It was almost like the voices were coming from inside it, even though I had checked about five times already and absolutely nothing was there. I briefly glanced up at the little recreational corner the humans had set up. The three children were all playing a game at their little corner and didn't notice the voices. I vented quietly, running a servo down my face.

"I am officially losing my mind."

The two little voices that I'm starting to believe was all in my head quieted down once the comm. link sounded. Knowing exactly who it was, I straightened up and pressed another button on the keyboard I currently stood in front of.

"_Optimus to base. We require a ground bridge."_

"Coming up." Soon enough, Optimus, along with Arcee and Bulkhead, walked through the swirling green tunnel. They had ventured off to explore in a subterranean Energon deposit. They had discovered it in a place the humans had dubbed Mammoth Cave. A good portion was deemed unsafe by human standards after a recent mishap that I never bothered to learn about and was cut off to the general human public, making our team's job a bit easier. Plus, I was told that the majority of the rooms in the cave's rooms were big enough even for Optimus. This mission they had just come back from was only meant to confirm the exact position of the energon deposit. Later we will send Bulkhead and Arcee back in with the proper equipment for mining the energon.

Suddenly, the Ground Bridge turned a deep blue and released a high pitched whining sound. The sharp sound startled me at first but I sprang into action, shouting at everyone to get as far from the malfunctioning transportation portal. Nothing like this has ever happened before! What is going on? Electricity crackled loudly, dancing around the walls of the dysfunctional device. I pounced on the control panel for the Ground Bridge and attempted to shut the machine down. The sound of crackling electricity filled my audio receptors before a burst of energy was shot out at my face. I staggered back, servos shielding my sensitive optics, blinded.

I'm sure by that point, the other bots had grabbed their human friend and took cover in the halls, eyes and optics glued to the now deep water blue Ground Bridge.

The only ones left in the main room were Optimus and I. My optics cleared just as his assumed his battle stance and slid his mask over his face, appearing ready to drag me away from the Ground Bridge monitor if need be. I could feel myself start to slip into panic as I tried to shut the power off from the sparking and smoking control panel, despite the searing heat that was now coming from the Ground Bridge. No! This was no time for panicking!

Frustrated, I slammed a fist down on the panel. The only other option would be to cut the energon flow to the Ground Bridge altogether. My now composed gaze shot over to the panel on the floor that covered to energon fuel line. I stepped towards the panel, narrowly avoiding getting struck by the strange electricity. If this didn't work...

I looked back at our leader. Optimus looked very close to throwing me over his shoulder and taking cover a safe distance away when the electrified portal suddenly stopped. My attention snapped back over to the Ground Bridge. It had just turned off. No warning. There wasn't even the usual whine of it gearing back down.

"Well, at least the stupid thing did something this time."

"Yeah...Oh, wait. No, wait, no... Oh slag."

"Wait, oh, slag? _Oh, slag?_ This is not an 'oh slag' moment! _This_ is an 'oh shit' moment!"

"Oh, shut _up_, you big sparkling. I'll have this thing fixed in a half a breem."

"Don't tell me to shut up! I do not want to be caught between two dimensions for the rest of eternity!"

There go the voices again! The rest of the bots had to have heard that! I moved towards the entrance of the Ground Bridge and stood where the intruders would have to move all the way out of the bridge to see me. I peered cautiously into the now dark tunnel after exchanging a nervous look with the bots and humans huddled behind me. Optimus' expression on his faceplates was unreadable behind his battle mask. There appeared to be two small figures standing at the very back but it was too dark for me to make out any real details. Suddenly they started to walk towards us, carrying rather large boxes, apparently not seeing us at all. I swiftly ducked back out of sight and shifted my servo into a surgical blade. I don't know what these things were, but they apparently didn't know what they were getting themselves into.

"Did that thing work or what?" The two figures came out of the shadows and into the white light of the missile silo. All of the bots gaped at what they saw. Even Optimus had a shocked look in his optics.

It was just two unarmed human femmes! From what I can tell, they were both only a few human years older than Jack.

"That crazy thing had better work. I've endured your torture enough," moaned the human femme in the pink, blue, and green tie dye shirt. Her voice was laced with frustration, nonchalance and slight boredom.

"Hanging around in the lab with me is not that bad. Plus you get this once-in-a-fragging-lifetime opportunity. " The other femme wore a black shirt from what the others and I could see. Their faces were blocked from their view by the cardboard boxes, so they couldn't see me moving closer to them, surgical blade up and ready. Few questions ran through my processor, though they were extremely valid at the moment. Questions like 'how did these two organics get here' and 'how did they tap into the Ground Bridge's coordinating systems'.

And how in Primus' name did that human know those Cybertronian terms and curses?

The human female in the tie dye shirt heavily put the boxes down. I lifted my blade, still cautious of the intruders. If they managed to get in here, who knows what they could be armed with. As soon as she saw me, she blinked.

"Huh. I guess it did work."

"Hey, don't just stand there! Get your sorry aft over here and help with these boxes." The female human in the black shirt growled from behind the boxes she carried. She still hadn't seen me or the other bots, who had begun slowly creeping forward, weapons drawn. Even Bulkhead managed to quiet his step.

"Samantha," The tie dye girl never stopped staring at me as she calmly called out her companion. Such a calm reaction was extremely unexpected, to say the very least. Since I was the closest bot to the intrusive humans, Bumblebee and the rest of them looked at me, expected me to say something to them. Before I could even move, the humans spoke again.

"What?" The girl in the black shirt, dubbed Samantha dropped the boxes on the ground and glared over at her comrade.

"I'm staring at your favorite Transformer." Samantha's reaction to that flat statement was...

Her eyes widened considerably as her gaze fell onto me. I heard her take in a long breath. Right then, I noticed the details of her shirt. On it was a large white Autobot insignia! How could this random human possibly know about us? This wasn't making any sense! The only civilians that truly know anything about us are the children! And I highly doubt they would actually _tell_ someone about the base. The harsh white light of the silo glinted off my blade. She may bear the Autobot insignia, but you can never be too sure...

"OH, MY GOD! IT'S RATCHET!" Samantha screeched at a painfully high pitch. I winced, audio receptors ringing. How could such small creatures be so Primus-slagging _loud_?

"Whoa, I could recognize that kind of scream anywhere!" I halfway turned to see Miko running out from behind Bulkhead.

"Miko, no!" Jack shouted as he tried to grabbed her wrist only to be thrown off.

Optimus was silent and strangely still throughout this whole thing. He's only like that when he doesn't know exactly how to approach a situation. Well, I hope he figures something out soon. I put my attention back on Miko, who was standing a bit in front of me.

"You guys can put the guns away!" Miko waved her hands around, trying to get us to deactivate our weapons. I scoffed. Why in the world was she protecting them?

"And why would we do that? They tapped into the Ground Bridge's systems and transported themselves here! If those mere _humans_ can pull such a feat of engineering who knows what else they can do!" I glared down at Miko.

"They're fangirls!" Right then, I went from angry to confused. What was a fangirl? How did Miko know what they were? Did they all scream the way Samantha did? I shuddered slightly. If they did, I want nothing to do with them.

"Yep! I was officially voted as America's biggest Transformers fan! And I still hold that title, too!" Samantha had evidently recovered and piped in, in an excited tone. She perked up as soon as Miko said the word 'fangirl'. All of us were still brandishing our weapons. I didn't dare steal a glance behind me when I heard a few beeps and buzzes. Bumblebee was more than a little curious about how much she knew of the Autobots.

"How much do I know about the Autobots? _How much do I know about the Autobots? _Did you not hear me earlier?" Samantha looked almost offended as she looked over at Bumblebee. Wait-how did she understand what he just said?

"Oh, here we go again..." The tie dye girl muttered under her breath.

"You never question a serious fangirl's knowledge. _Ever_." Miko put her hands on her hips, shaking her head sadly.

Then Optimus finally decided to speak up. "Why did you come here?" His deadly serious tone had a slight edge to it, changing the confused mood of the room. Even his EM field had started to vibrate in a serious manner. Everyone fell silent again and watched Samantha, who was looking way up at Optimus. His height alone would have been enough to startle any normal human at the very least. But...these two humans have proven more than enough times in the past breem that they are far from normal. They stood there, completely unfazed by the sight of Optimus. I'm going to have their heads examined by Nurse Darby later.

"Oh, that's easy! We are here to deliver messages to you all from your millions of fans!"

**So, if you could say, ask, or give anything to any of the Autobots, what would it be? Drop a review and I might use it in the next chapters!**

**Peace!**


	2. The fangirls!

**Hello my readers! I wanna thank all of those who dropped a review for the previous chapter! I'll be sure to get a few of them in this chap. I'm going to be editing the reviews a bit so they fit in with the flow of the story. And they may or may not be in order.**

**...My sister just walked in my room and said "I just discovered this awesome band called Dead Maw 5." And just walked back out laughing manically.**

**Oookay... I don't own jack. I'm doing this for the Pit of it.**

**Anyway, let's get this show on the road!**

Message from the Fans Chapter 2

I have never experienced something as strange as this. In my vorns as a medic, I have seen and done some _very_ strange things. However, having a young human femme say that the Autobots have millions of fans that watch us through a television program from another dimension is by far the strangest thing I have ever heard. I blankly stared at the young human, who looked back expectantly.

"Aw, no fair! How come they get fans?" Miko pouted from in front of Bulkhead.

"Oh, don't worry. You guys have fans, too. But people paid me good money to talk with the Autobots, so we're here for them. The fans have quite a few questions for 'em." Samantha gestured towards us. I scoffed.

"Why would I answer any of your questions? For all we know, you could be working with the Decepticons." Deception was the 'cons specialty but this seemed a bit outlandish to be an even slightly believable trick. Although... I wouldn't put it past Megatron to force humans into working for him, if it meant finding the location of our base.

"The 'cons? Puh-_lease_! I'd rather give up my lab than work for them. "The girl scoffed, waving me off. Arcee moved to stand next to me.

"Ratchet's right. You two could just be trying to extort information out of us, " Arcee said, glaring at Samantha. I silently agreed with her as we fixed our gazes on the two humans. All of us had deactivated our weapons but still remained on edge. Optimus spoke firmly to the two girls.

"The only way for us to fully believe you is for you to show us proof of your dimension." I smirked slightly. There was no way these two humans could be from another dimension. Even if they were, how can they possibly contact their base of operations?

"I was beginning to wonder when you'd ask. Crystal, get over here and help me set up the inter-dimensional podcast." With that, Samantha and Crystal went over to one particularly large box and rummaged through it, apparently searching for something. They pulled out a small device and a bundle of black wire. Samantha turned around suddenly and raced back into the Ground Bridge, returning with a machine of some sort. There was a small black screen on top and next to it was a control panel. What is Primus' name is that? I've never seen anything like that before. Samantha smiled when she caught me gawking.

"I call it the Inter-dim Transporter. Cool, huh? I made this puppy from scratch." I was shocked speechless. How in the Pit did that human build that? Not even we Cybertronians have ever created something like that! I stared at them in wonder as the two humans set up something.

"How are you guys going to do a podcast? I mean, it has to be hard to contact someone in another dimension." Jack rubbed the back of his neck. Rafael nodded nervously and pushed his glasses up at the bridge.

"Yeah, what if you damage it? How are you gonna get home?" Rafael had a right to be concerned. Say if they were from another dimension... Though I many tools in the med bay, I highly doubt I have anything that would be of any use when it came to repairing an inter-dimensional travel device. Samantha sent hi m a reassuring look after snapping a small almost optic-like object on the Inter-dim Transporter.

"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing... okay now all I need is for Ratchet to fire up the Ground Bridge."

"Are you insane? Before you got here, the Bridge looked very near system failure!" I stepped forward, intent upon giving those humans a piece of my processor, only to be stopped by a huge black servo on my shoulder. I glanced up at Optimus, whose optics gave me a silent scolding. I snorted and turned away slightly from Optimus. This human had better not do anything to the Ground Bridge or else she'll be dodging more than a few wrenches. Do you know how many circuits I blew trying to repair that thing? One time Ground Bridge gave me so much trouble I fried a neural connection in my processor. The others said I was acting very strange all day. All I can remember is someone singing and my wrenches covered in this substance humans call chocolate.

"Look," Samantha's voice tore me from my thoughts. "I can't give you your proof if you don't open the Ground Bridge. And I'm sure you won't like it if I did it myself."

"Open the Ground Bridge, Ratchet." Optimus' deep, baritone voice met my audio receptors. I groaned and went over to the control panel to the Ground Bridge. Soon enough it was up and running as if nothing had happened earlier.

"Outstanding. Crystal, is the Inter-dim Transporter collaborated and set to the right coordinates?" Samantha turned to her companion, who had her back to her. Crystal gave her a thumbs-up.

"Yep. The projector and camera is hooked up to it and aimed properly. "

The Autobot insignia-bearing girl nodded curtly and pulled out a small phone from her pocket. She dialed and pressed it to her ear. Bumblebee whirred and buzzed.

"I'm calling my support team."

Bumblebee buzzed and whirred, gesturing wildly.

"The frequencies being emitting from the Inter-dim Transporter and the Ground Bridge combined should be just enough to provide a signal for my phone to pick up and use to contact my home dimension. And, no, they aren't going to come through to attack you." She said matter-of-factly. Suddenly she perked up.

"Hey, Mike! ... Yes we made it through fine... Yeah, I'm looking right at Boss Bot... N-n-no, I am _not _going to tell him that! ... Look, just turn on the camera over there and have the screen set up. There should be a 10 second delay in the transmission if there are no problems. See you in a bit!" The girl hung up the phone and looked back at us.

"Was there something you wanted to tell me?" Optimus asked Samantha, suspicion lining his voice.

Samantha's face immediately turned an interesting shade of red. Humans can be so strange sometimes. "Uh... what he wanted to tell you was extremely embarrassing on my part and you'll probably have Megatron murder me in a slow painful fashion. Anyway, please look at the screen Crystal just set up. The transmission should be should be coming through any second." Optimus would never wish that on a human, no matter what they said. But humans have a habit of talking too much. There was a strange buzzing sound coming from the so-called Inter-dim Transporter and the Ground Bridge. Bumblebee took a nervous step back, digits occasionally giving a small twitch. Bulkhead and Arcee glared at the device while Optimus wore an unreadable expression on his faceplates. I surprised myself when I felt almost excited that it just might work. I stared intensely at the large television screen mounted on Samantha's Inter-dim Transporter. I looked past it to see the Ground Bridge turning the same shade of dark blue as it did earlier. There wasn't nearly as much noise as before, though it still cracked with electricity.

Suddenly the screen turned on. There was nothing but blue. I smirked. I figured that these humans were lying-

"-man-a, ca- you he- me? "My optics widened in shock. The transmission actually worked! But, that's impossible! By the looks on the others' faceplates, they're having a hard time believing it as well. A very blurry image lit up the screen and slowly started to become clearer. There was a young human male on the screen. He was wearing the same shirt Samantha was wearing; black with a large white Autobot insignia. This must be someone from her support team. There was a worried look on his face, mostly likely the look of a concerned sibling.

"I can hear you, Mike. Actually getting here was a little rougher than I would have liked, but at least I fragging got here at all. All of me." Samantha stepped in front of the camera and casually spoke to the other human as if there was no significance in what she had just accomplished. By the AllSpark! Does she not know that she just surpassed Cybertronians with her technology?

"Is Crystal with you?" The young brown haired male stressed.

"Don't worry, we're both fine. Now, do you mind moving the podcast into the back? I have to show the Autobots something." The young human nodded once, evidently understanding immediately what she meant by 'something'.

"Primus..." I heard Optimus mutter. This truly _is_ something to take note of if Optimus let his emotions reach his voice.

"Oh, my gosh! How did you guys do that? That is so cool! What else does this thing do?" Miko rushed over to the Inter-dim Transporter and started poking random buttons. Bulkhead snatched at her only to miss. Samantha didn't miss her target as she spun around and tackled her to the ground in a black blur.

"HEY! What was that for?" The Japanese girl yelled, rubbing the back of her head where it had connected with the metal floor. There was no blood so she'll be fine.

"Do you want all of us to be stuck between this dimension and mine for the rest of eternity?" Samantha shouted, gesturing angrily. I could see a terrified look flash across Crystal's face as she stood next to the oversized, by human standards, television screen.

Miko looked down, guilty at the thought of potentially causing such a thing to happen to us. "Well... no..."

"Miko, just don't go pushing random buttons, okay?" Jack walked over to Miko and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. I looked back at the image on the screen, seeing that it had stopped jostling around. The young male named Mike stepped back in front of the camera. There was a very wide smile on his face as he stated,

"Here we go, you guys!" Mike turned around and seemed to push an entire wall over to the right.

"I wonder what they want to show us." Bulkhead just said what everyone was thinking as Mike continued to slide the apparently heavy wall out of the way. What _did _these humans have in store for us? Considering the massive feat of engineering she just pulled, only Primus knows what's behind the huge sliding

The sight that was on the other side of that wall is something I will never forget.

There was a huge lot that was covered with more than a million humans! They were all screaming and cheering as soon as they noticed us. Some of the humans were dressed as us while others held up banners. One white banner that was being held up by one particularly excited girl had a well-done drawing of Optimus waist down and read:

DEM HIPS!

I facepalmed while Bulkhead couldn't contain himself. Soon the big lug was roaring with laughter along with Bumblebee, who was clutching his aching sides from the laughter. Jack and Arcee chuckled at the sight of Rafael's and Miko's jaw dropping in unison. I vented. Humans can be so strange.

I could vaguely see Optimus' left optic twitch.

Samantha stepped in front of the video camera and said, "All the Transformers fans say yea-uh!"

The crowd stopped all their conversations and cheering and responded, pumping their fists in the air. "YEA-UH!"

"Alright, you guys! Crystal and I did make it into the Transformers Prime dimension-" The massive crowd roared their approval. "-and met the Autobots!" The crowd's roaring turned into chanting.

"Op-ti-mus! Op-ti-mus! Op-ti-mus!" Hm. Someone's popular.

"_Now _do you all believe us?" Crystal said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, you two have certainly proved the existence of your dimension with this transmission and the existence of the fans..." I greatly dislike admitting it when I'm wrong. Especially to a human.

"You know, it's kinda creepy knowing that we're being watched all the time." Jack pointed out. I had not looked at the situation that way but now that I think about it...

Samantha shook her head vigorously. "Oh no, we don't know exactly what you all are doing all the time. The series would be far too long." She turned back to the video camera. "Okay, I know you guys have been waiting all night for this. I'm gonna introduce you to the Autobots!" The girl picked up the camera and held it in her hands.

"She's a person of few words but is indeed a strong sparked femme Autobot, I give you all, Arcee!" Suddenly she pointed the camera to Arcee. She seemed to be caught off guard by the loud roar of cheering and whistling as she smiled and waved at the video camera.

"He may rely heavily on brute strength in battle but no one defines the words 'gentle giant' better than our favorite Wrecker, Bulkhead!" She aimed the camera at him as he gave a thumbs-up, smiling at the noticeably high-pitched screeches of a particularly large group of girls dressed in the same shade of green as Bulkhead's paint job.

"Though he's been to the Pit and back, he still manages to stay the cheerful, happy-go-lucky youngling we all know and love. Here's the adorable Urbana 500 himself, Bumblebee!" The yellow clad girls screeched and screamed when Bumblebee struck several poses and whirred for them. Arcee laughed and I just rolled my optics.

"Grouchy as he may be he always pulls through, willing to make great sacrifices to do what he knows is best for the team. Here's the guy who looked too fragging good in his ambulance mode to not use it, our all time favorite wrench throwing medic, Ratchet!" I frowned at the camera and nodded once. The screeching I got rivaled that of Bumblebee's. My group of red and white dressed wrench-wielding girls quickly quieted down and all shouted simultaneously, swinging their tools around, "I NEEDED THAT!"

Bulkhead's and Bumblebee's laughter started again as Arcee smirked at me, "You've got quite a fan base." I glared at her, which only made her laugh at me.

"And last but certainly not least, is the mech who was chosen by Primus himself. He shows such wisdom on a daily basis so many people can only dream of having. Though mankind has done absolutely nothing to deserve this, he protects humanity, determined to keep our planet from going the way of Cybertron and falling into the clawed servos of the Decepticons. I present to you a true freedom fighter, an excellent leader and the kind gentle father figure that holds the family together, Optimus Prime."

I thought the cheering Bumblebee and I got was loud.

I swear by Primus, I could not hear myself think over the loud cheering the crowd on the screen gave for our leader. The crowd shouted 'Autobots, transform and roll out!' and 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings' along with many other quotes from Optimus all at the same time. The video camera was trained on him as the cheering ensued. Optimus held a still stance while the people roared their approval of him. He stared at the camera and addressed the crowd in a serious tone, instantly quieting them all down.

"I appreciate the fact all of you think so highly of me. However, I am merely doing what Samantha said before. Protecting humanity to prevent your planet from falling into darkness." The crowd shouted and roared again, pumping their small fists in the air. Samantha turned the camera back towards her.

"Okay, we are going to have a short Q and A session with the Autobots. I have the rest of your questions here with me so don't freak out. They can't keep the Ground Bridge open forever."

"Must we answer their questions?" I asked, looking at Optimus. I really don't want these humans digging up my personal life. Everyone, including the children, looked at Optimus for his response.

Optimus pondered the question for a brief moment. "These younglings went through much trouble to create a means of traveling here and many humans have most likely anticipated this moment for a long time. It would not hurt to answer a few of their questions." I vented, knowing he would say that. Crystal clapped her hands together loudly.

"Alright, people! We don't have all day! Mike, read the questions for the Autobots."

Mike appeared on the screen again with a sheet of paper in his hands. "Will do. The first question is from TimeLordBud. Have you lost any troops to the Cauldron?"

Cauldron? What the Pit is the Cauldron? Bumblebee looked at Arcee for answer, only getting a shrug in response.

"I'm sorry, I have never heard of this 'Cauldron' of which you speak." Optimus simply stated. A confused look flashed across both Mike's and Samantha's face.

"Hm. I guess it's just the wrong dimension. Thanks, TimeLordBud! The next few questions are from IBrokeThe4thWall. What does Arcee think of Bulkhead?" Mike asked.

"Uh, do I have to answer that?" Arcee said wearily. Whenever that sort of question was brought up around the base, she merely ignores it. This time she can't avoid the question. I wonder what her answer to that one will be.

The huge crowd of people standing behind Mike shouted loud encouragements at her, obviously wanting to hear her answer.

"Come on, Arcee. It won't be too bad." Jack urged from near her pedes. She glanced down at the teen and vented quietly.

"Well... He may be more than a little clumsy but he certainly makes up for that by being a good person and an even better friend." Arcee made sure to not look at Bulkhead when she said this and stared straight into the video camera. The crowd watching let out a very loud 'Awww!'.

"You- You really think that about me?" Bulkhead looked amazed as he gazed down at Arcee. She scoffed, mildly irritated.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't believe it."

"Okay, next question from IBrokeThe4thWall: Does Ratchet know he talks in his sleep?" I arched an optic ridge. I talk in my recharge? I heard the children snickering by their guardians along with Crystal, Mike and Samantha. The fan crowd just bust out in laughter. Optimus made a coughing sound. He only does that when he's trying very hard not to laugh. I glared at them all. What would I have said that make Optimus start to laugh?

"My God, that was hilarious! Here, I'll show you the clip." Mike grabbed the camera he stood in front of and aimed it at a television screen somewhere nearby him. It turned on, showing Bumblebee talking to a frustrated Agent Fowler.

"_Oh, for the love of-! Give me someone with speaks something other than 'bleep'!" Rafael along with the two other children walked closer to the monitor._

"_I-I can help." As soon as Rafael finished his statement, a very inebriated voice sounded. _

"_What? Do I hear a fuzor in need of voice box __REPAIR?"_

_Agent Fowler yelled, "What's a 'fuzor'? What's going on over there?"_

_The camera swiftly moved over to point at me, lying on a berth. I sat up, waving my arm around like I had had too much high grade. "I am ABLE! Just ask Bantor. He was _all_ mandrill before I-put a tiger in his tank!" After that, I fell back down on the birth hard. Agent Fowler, for once, didn't have a comeback for that little episode._

"...Wow." Arcee was the first to say anything after a moment of staring, triggering everyone, with the exception of Optimus and I, to start doubling over in laughter. Optimus even smiled at the sight of that little... _episodic _moment. I facepalmed, feeling my faceplates beginning to heat up. Ugh, I am never going to hear the end of it.

"Well, now we know what a drunken Ratchet looks like. Alright calm down everyone, IBrokeThe4thWall has something else to say. " Mike laughed as he aimed the camera back at the fan crowd and stepped in front of, much like way I had seen a human news reporter do once before.

"IBrokeThe4thWall wants Optimus to know that if he ever wears the Con's insignia again they will hunt. His. Aft. Down." I was taken aback by the human's sheer boldness. All of these humans claim to be Optimus' fans and they say that to him? Not to say that I don't agree with that statement...

The fan crowd shouted in agreement as I stole a glance at Optimus. He had a surprisingly amused look in his optics.

"You have no need for concern. I do not plan on falling victim to Megatron's manipulation ever again."

"You _did_ scare the shit out of us when they showed Knock Out welding the insignia on your shoulder." Crystal said, leaning against the huge television screen we were looking at. The fan crowd agreed.

"Alright, I've got a short letter for you from Princess of Dreams. It says:

Princess of Dreams (Prime universe)

Hi! This is a earthling training in the Land of Dreams. I've been watching you Autobots, and I like you. I am willing to help using my dream magic if you need it.

And I have a question.  
Arcee(Prime universe) How come you are the only female Autobot? I could use dream magic to temporarily make myself into an Autobot femme if you ever want one to hang out with!

Bye! I'll be watching from the Dreamworld." Mike read from the paper in his hands.

Arcee seemed a bit more comfortable with answering that question. "Even back in the Golden Age, there were not as many Cybertronians with a femme frame as there were with mech frames. The Great War terminated many of us and now I'm one of the few remaining. That would be interesting if you could actually make it here."

"Straightforward enough. Thanks for the question, Princess of Dreams! Alright, Mike. We have to wrap it up. Give me a round of applause for the Autobots!" Samantha said to the camera. The crowd applauded, shouted, screamed, screeched, and jumped on the feet as Mike swept the camera across the crowd, allowing us the see the full scale of their enthusiasm.

"Crystal, Samantha, I wish you both the best of luck. Be sure to get all that stuff to the Autobots and see you two when you get back!" Mike swept the camera across the still cheering crowd one more time before severing the connection. The screen turned black and silence filled the base once more.

"So there's more stuff for the Autobots?" Rafael broke the silence. Samantha smiled.

"You don't know the half of it."

**So how'd I do? Good? Ok? Horrid? And don't worry, I'm going to use the rest of the reviews in the story.**

**Speaking of that, I need more ways to embarrass the Autobots in the next chapters. Leave a review with your ideas questions for the Autobots and comments! **

**Peace!**


	3. You learn something new everyday

**I heard the Japanese version of Optimus' voice for Transformers Prime and I almost fell out the chair, it was that awesome! It was so fragging cool!**

**Anyway, thanks to all those who reviewed my previous chapter! I'll keep you guys' ideas in mind. I'll address the Decepticon thing you guys asked about in the reviews in the next chapter. This is still Ratchet's POV. Just a reminder, I'm gonna tweak the reviews a bit to fit the story.**

**I don't own Transformers Prime and I'm not making a profit off this. **

**Let's get this party started!**

"What exactly do you have for us?" Bulkhead asked curiously. These two humans just blew my processor. I find it simply incredible that so many humans can know so much about us! But, what I haven't figured out yet is to what extent their knowledge ends. I am going to figure that out soon.

Samantha thought for a moment. "I have a lot of stuff. Stuff like books, movies, fan art, recordings... But I'll start with the questions for now. Crystal, do you mi-"

Crystal waved her off and headed to one of the unopened boxes. "I'm on it." She pulled out several sheets of paper and handed it to her friend. I felt my frame give a tiny shudder. I can only imagine what was on those papers.

"Be warned. The fans have quite few questions, so grab a cube of energon in advance." Bumblebee seemed to take that warning to spark since he ran off towards the energon storage room. I'll trust his judgment on this one. He knows and understands human behaviors better than I do.

"Okay the first question-err, _message_ is for... Optimus." Samantha looked hard at the paper. "Well, I could answer that for you, but this is for Boss Bot, not me. Anyway, it says:

Why didn't you have anyone go after Starscream to apologize for Arcee trying to kill him after he offered to help them and work with them against Megatron? If you'd only done that Starscream wouldn't have the Apex Armor right now. Not that Starscream not having all powerful armor is a totally bad thing (probably better him then Megatron) but still if only they'd tried to get Starscream to come back and to make up for Arcee trying to kill him (valid reasons or not) then the Autobots would have it not Starscream.

Hm. Well, fire away Optimus." She looked up at our leader. I glanced over at Arcee, curious as to what her response to that would be. She said nothing and never returned the look, only gaining a hard unreadable expression on her faceplates. She was not proud of that particular memory. There were only a few things that get through the emotionless wall she had built around her. However, when things to get through, her anger tends to get the better of her. The only reason why Starscream lived to see another solar cycle is Bumblebee. He had shown up right before Arcee was about to slice the major energon lines in Starscream's neck. The sight of the youngling watching her made her gain control of herself once more and fully realize what she was about to do. Killing was nothing new to her, or any of us, for that matter. We were living in the midst of a war. Killing was done to reach the goal of the mission. She was about to terminate Starscream, but out of anger and vengeance. Arcee tries her hardest to keep her emotions in check, in order to keep it from hindering her in battle. That slip disturbed her deeply. Since then she's expressed a little less emotion around us. I believe only Optimus and I have noticed the slight change, though we have never said anything about it. Silence was her best way of coping with her problems. I'll only say something to her if I see that her silence starts to hurt her instead of help her.

Optimus considered the human's words for a brief moment. "Though I was not pleased to hear that Arcee nearly snuffed someone's spark out of anger, I highly doubt that an apology would change anything. Starscream is an opportunist. He would not have bypassed the Apex Armor, regardless of the past. I fear we have more reason to worry about Starscream's possession of the armor than Megatron, contrary to what you have stated. We have an idea of what Megatron would do with the Apex Armor, however, Starscream's insecurity makes him less predictable, and thus, more dangerous." Optimus wore a serious look in his faceplates as he spoke firmly to the humans. Samantha was wrote furiously on a note pad that she seemed to have produced out of nowhere. Once she was done writing, she looked up at Optimus.

"That's exactly what I had in mind. You just put it in words perfectly. Thank you, anonymous fan. Crystal, could you please get the digital recorder? With all the questions their fans sent me with, my hand's gonna fall off when I'm done." Crystal sighed dramatically and got up again from her place on the floor. She reached into one of the opened boxes and threw a small black device, which Samantha caught with ease. I heard pede-falls heading towards us from the hallway. I turned to see Bumblebee returning, carrying five cubes of energon of varying sizes. I thanked him after I took the cube he offered.

"Thanks. Alright, a fan has a short letter." Samantha shook the papers in her hand.

Miko piped in, most likely wanting in on the attention. "Is it that Princess of Dreams again?"

Samantha shook her head. "Not this one but she did send another letter. Moving on, this letter says:

Hi guys my name is Sophia! I'm a huge fan of you guys. I'm 13 years old and I have lots of questions. Bulkhead, what happened between you and Breakdown? I get that he's a Decepticreep but why do you hate him the most? Bumblebee, how come your eyes are so different from everyone else's? Yours are really big and they make you look really cute. Ratchet, why do you dislike humans so much? Optimus, are you or have you ever fallen in love? Arcee, what is it like being the only girl Autobot there? And one more thing, I hate Airachnid for what she did. Kick her butt for me, will you?

Man, she has a lot to say. Well, Bulkhead, you have the first question." Samantha sat down on a box, crossed her legs and hit a button on the digital recorder. Bulkhead laughed.

"Decepticreep, I like that! Anyway, back on Cybertron, Breakdown was one of the best of the Wreckers. He was a closer friend of mine, almost as close as I am with Wheeljack. One solar cycle, Breakdown and I, along with a few other Wreckers were sent to escort a group of field medics to a city turned war zone and evacuate the unarmed civilians. Breakdown disappeared for a while after we reached the city, saying he was gonna search the area for traps.

Next thing I know, bombs were being dropped on our heads. A line of Cons came rushing at us, Breakdown in front. He didn't regret joining the Decepticons or letting them kill the unarmed mechs and femmes we had managed to save earlier, the other Wreckers with me and most of medics. He had betrayed all of the other Wreckers and handed one of our best fighters to the Decepticons. I hate the guy because he let so many people die that solar cycle."

There was silence for a moment. Bulkhead had never told anyone of this particular story, even though the rivalry between Breakdown and Bulkhead is well known.

"How come you never told me that story?" Miko pouted, glaring up at her guardian.

"Because, it's not one of my favorite moments. The only Autobots who survived that attack in the entire city were Ratchet and I." Bulkhead gestured towards me. I blinked and took a sip from my cube. I remember that day. I was the one leading the group of medics in training, making sure that they did everything that was required to keep the wounded soldiers and civilians alive and calm. The death of the younger medics that solar cycle crippled the Autobots. Medics grew harder and harder to come across after that.

"Ratchet was there?" The Japanese girl looked at Bulkhead then at me, surprise written all over her flesh covered face. Samantha seemed to sense the bombardment of questions about my life story that was about to hit me, since she loudly cleared her throat.

"Wow, that's one heck of a story. Alright, next one." Samantha uncrossed and crossed her legs again the other way. Bumblebee beeped and buzzed. He wasn't paying attention when she had read the letter out loud. Samantha nodded patiently.

"I'll reread your question for you." Bumblebee hummed shyly when the girl read over his part of message. He started beeping and whirring normally after a few seconds of embarrassment.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that you were created like that. The vast majority of your fans think you are adorable because of your optics, me among them." Samantha nodded casually. Bumblebee fidgeted and I could practically see his faceplates heat up as I sipped at my energon. Then Rafael asked the question that was sitting in my processor for the past breem.

"How is it that you can understand Bee? I thought I was the only human who can understand him."

Crystal answered before Samantha could even open her mouth. "She's watched Transformers Prime so much that she can understand him. She can even write in a Cybertronian language! You like that show _way_ too much."

"You think? I know I love the show too much. If I didn't, you and I would not be here talking with the Autobots." She put her hands on her hips and glared at her. Crystal reluctantly agreed. This human can _write_ in Cybertronian as well? There's an ability added to lengthening list of strange things this little human youngling has.

"You know how to write in Cybertronian and you can understand Bee... can you speak it?" Jack asked thoughtfully. Samantha gave him an incredulous look.

"Seriously? No! I may be an enormous Transformers fan-"

"Understatement of the century." Crystal cut in, calling from her seat on the metal floor. The glare Samantha gave could have burned her skin off.

"I may be a huge Transformers fan, but I'm still an organic being. I'd hurt myself trying speak in Cybertronian. Trust me, I know. Anyway, let's answer the next question, shall we?" I vented quietly. The next question was for me.

"Humans have many qualities that I don't care for. They are small and fragile, allowing them to break easily. They're futile attempts at technology have so many faults and bugs I can't even begin to list them off. They're weapons are primitive and are not as effective as ours. Humans are even unsure of who created their species-" I began, ready to list off every last thing about humans that I didn't like. That list was very long. Arcee cut me off.

"So, basically, humans are all around too primitive for you?"

I nodded once. That sums it up quite well. "Well, time for your question." I said flatly to Arcee.

"What is it like being the only femme here? It can be very annoying sometimes but other than that I'm fine with it. And, as much as I would love to, I can't kick Airachnid's tailpipe. She's locked in stasis in an Insecticon pod. " Arcee placed a servo on her hip and shifted her weight slightly to the side.

"Yeah, Armada was a pretty interesting episode. Thanks, Sophia! Moving on to the next one..." Samantha leafed through the papers and plucked out one sheet.

"This is from Autobot-Ratchet." Bulkhead and Bumblebee snickered, but a trademark glare from me silenced them quickly.

"It says:

Hmmmmm...I don't really have any questions; so much as I have things I'd like to tell them. Ratchet must have a huge spark, to be able to watch patients die over and over for the length of the war. I understand his personality completely - I would react much in the same way if I had been put through the same things. *hugs and snuggles Ratchet*

Sometimes, when I'm really nervous or uncertain about something, I'll pretend like Optimus is right next to me cheering me on. Whenever I do that, I feel a lot better and sometimes safer, even. Even if I'm just pretending, it means a lot just to have that imagined support. *snuggles Optimus*

Awww, that was so sweet! So what do you two think?" Samantha smiled at Optimus and I.

"Why does the human want to hug me?" I asked, slightly uneasy. I didn't show it, of course.

"Why? Because you're awesome! And because your personality is relatable to certain fans, me included." She explained. By the AllSpark... I certainly would not have thought that a mere human could relate to me in any fashion. Humans do vary greatly, just like us Cybertronians... Suddenly I felt something small and warm wrap around my ankle. I looked down.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked uneasily, eyeing the human hugging my ankle.

"Look, Autobot-Ratchet isn't here to give you a hug. And my job is to deliver stuff the fans want to give you. So, you're getting a hug whether you like it or not."

I looked up at the other bots, silently pleading wtih them to get the little human off my ankle. Bulkhead and Bumblebee snorted, trying very hard not to laugh at me. Optimus had an amused expression on his face but said nothing. Arcee just smirked at me. Jack and Rafael smiled at me. Miko pulled out her phone.

"Kodak moment!"

I growled as the camera went off and after the human let go. Optimus chose to keep things moving along by addressing his own message.

"I am honored that humans look to me for comfort, even though we may never have any direct contact." Optimus said, a bit more to himself than Samantha, who raised her eyebrows at him, clearly incredulous of his response.

"Really? Dude, you are a really awesome person! You give off a comforting aura, the kind that makes people feel safe, even those who don't have direct contact with you. You're essentially the father figure in the family, like I said not too long ago. I honestly think that you are the only thing that keeps your family so tightly knit. You cannot believe how fractured the team was when you lost your memory after the whole incident with Unicron."

"How do _you_ know what happened?" Bulkhead asked, incredulous. Everyone turned to the small dark brown haired human.

"Remember, you guys have a TV show. I watched the episodes so many times, I've don't even bother to count. Although..." Samantha put a hand on her chin thoughtfully. "There are a few episodes that I simply cannot bring myself to watch."

"Which episodes would that be, Samantha?" Rafael asked, mildly timid. I scoffed but remained quiet. What good would the name of the episodes be to us? The 'episodes' existed in another dimension!

"One Shall Rise Part Three and Orion Pax Part One and Two." We all stared blankly at the Autobot insignia-bearing girl.

"Oh, right. Sorry. At the end of One Shall Rise Part Three, Optimus lost his memory and left through the Cons' Ground Bridge with Megatron. That scared me so bad, I almost cried. On Orion Pax Part One, the team nearly fell apart during Optimus' absence. In Orion Pax Part Two, Ratchet came so close to giving up hope on rescuing Optimus. That is _not_ the Ratchet I've come to know and love." She rubbed her upper left arm with her right. Though she may not truly exist in this dimension, the events at that time seemed to have really disturbed her.

"Due to your extensive knowledge of our past events, I would like to ask you this: do you know what happened on the Nemesis during that time?" Optimus crouched down to her level, leaning slightly forward. That missing section in his memory banks bothers him to no end. He never talks to me about it, but I've known him long enough to tell when something is plaguing his thoughts.

"Yes I do, actually." She began. "I'm one hundred percent with Ratchet on this one. Your spark never ceased being that of an Autobot. However, Megatron attempted to use your innate loyalty to his advantage." She paused, letting the words sink in.

"Megatron told Orion Pax that Ratchet was the one who plunged Cybertron into the Great War, saying that the Autobots were the aggressors. He showed Orion the battered remains of Cybertron in order to plant a seed of resentment towards the Autobots. It nearly worked for a moment, until Starscream sneaked aboard the Nemesis. He tried to steal some energon but was nearly caught. In his hast to get away from the approaching guards, he ran into Orion Pax's workspace. Starscream spoke a bit with him, referring to him as Optimus Prime. Though Orion thought he was far from a Prime, merely being called one caused him to do some research in the Decepticon archives.

All of us, including the children leaned forward to catch every word that came out of her mouth. This young human seemed to know this story well. I looked down at my hand, having forgotten the half empty energon cube I held. I wonder what else she knows... Samantha took a seat on the floor and continued.

"Orion looked up the leader of the Autobots and came up with the name Optimus Prime but a completely unfamiliar mech. Seeing this, he knew that someone was lying to him. Starscream said that he was reminded of Optimus Prime when he first saw Orion. The Optimus Prime that was falsely depicted by the Decepticons looked nothing like him, and on top of that, Megatron said that Ratchet was the leader of the Autobot 'aggressors'. Despite his promise to decode the Iacon database, Orion conducted his own research. He knew the Decepticons were keeping something very important from him since the files were heavily encrypted. In no time, he hacked into the real file on Optimus Prime. Much to his shock, he _was_ the leader of the Autobots. Elsewhere, Soundwave had been tracking and recording his research and alerted Megatron of Orion's discovery.

"While Jack and Arcee were on Cybertron searching for Vector Sigma, Megatron threatened to rip Orion's spark out if he refused to finish decoding the Iacon database by the time he get back and headed off to try to take back the Space Bridge and end the lineage of the Primes. Back on the Nemesis, Orion figured out that he was armed with two powerful Cybertronian rifles after the guards attempted to beat him into following Megatron's orders. He staged his own escape and followed Megatron to the Space Bridge via Ground Bridge. By this point, Orion knew that he was an Autobot at spark and that Megatron was the real threat, not the Autobots. However, he had next to nothing when it came down to combat skills at since Megatron landed one hard punch to the grill, which Optimus Prime could have easily dodged, deflected or blocked. Megatron was about to strike the killing blow when Arcee sped through the Space Bridge in the nick of time, and tackled him across the room. By the way, how the frag did you tackle Megatron?" Samantha paused her story and asked Arcee, who only shrugged in response. Now that I think about it...how _did_ she do that? Megatron is more than a few times her weight.

"I'm much stronger than I look."

Samantha nodded but still looked rather perplexed. "I figured as much. Anyway, Arcee tackled Megatron and served as a distraction when Jack walked through the Bridge with the Matrix of Leadership, containing the collective wisdom of the Primes. Orion Pax had recovered from the blow he suffered from Megatron and saw Jack with the keycard. Unsure of whether or not he was worthy of being named a Prime, Orion asked Jack, who responded, and I quote, 'you have no idea'. And so the Matrix was bestowed upon Orion once more as Megatron realized that Arcee was only trying to distract him. _Optimus Prime_ had returned." Samantha smiled triumphantly at that and continued. Arcee, Jack, and I knew the rest of this story but I had the feeling she was telling it anyway for the sake of the rest of them, since Rafael and Miko were back at the base, and because Bumblebee and Bulkhead were unconscious for most of it.

"Megatron rushed towards Optimus, in an attempt to terminate him. Optimus, however, had other plans. Optimus caught Megatron's sword between his servos and said, 'Megatron...'." Samantha emphasized the name with a surprisingly good imitation of Optimus' serious, commanding voice.

"He slid his battle mask over his face and said, '_Begone_!' A hard left hook in the face followed the command, sending Megatron staggering backwards. Megatron barely had time to begin to regain his footing from the first punch when he was hit with an even harder right hook. Optimus landed more and more blows on Megatron as Bulkhead and Bumblebee, knocked unconscious while trying to defend the Space Bridge, woke up to see Optimus opening a can of whoop ass on Megatron. " Miko's eyes sparkled, no doubt imagining the battle in her mind.

"The finishing blow was a powerful uppercut, sending Megatron flying into the stone wall at the back of the room. After a brief moment of wondering exactly how he got there, Agent Fowler contacted Arcee, asking if Prime was with the team, having detected five signals instead of four. Megatron recovered from the last punch and rushed towards Optimus again, sword extended, hell bent on snuffing Optimus' spark. The team leaped into the Ground Bridge one by one, Optimus firing at Megatron to cover the team while you all got away. At last Optimus leaped in just as the Ground Bridge shut, leaving Megatron to roar in anger. Team Prime came back to the base, greeted by your support team." Samantha looked and Rafael and Miko and smiled warmly before continuing once more.

"Optimus Prime had returned and is here to stay." The children, Bumblebee and Bulkhead all clapped and cheered. Optimus let a small smile slip onto his faceplates. Though most of his smiles were small, they were filled with emotion.

"Man, you make an awesome story teller!" Miko exclaimed. Bumblebee nodded and whirred in agreement.

"You knew all of that off the top of your head?" Arcee asked.

"Yep! Biggest Transformers fan, remember? Oh, and Autobot-Ratchet wants to hug you, too." The girl strode over to Optimus, who was still crouching low to the ground. He held out a hand and the small human wrapped her arms around his index and middle finger, nuzzling her face into the seams of the metal on Optimus' servo. Miko took out her phone again and a bright flash lit up the room for an instant.

"How many Kodak moments do you plan on doing? Cause I'm gonna have to clear some space on this phone." Miko said while stabbing at the buttons on the phone. Samantha and I rolled our eyes in unison after she let go of his digits. Samantha went back to her papers and looked through them.

"Okay, we have to keep this train on the tracks. Next message..."

"Samantha," Optimus said gently. Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice. Our leader took that as a cue to proceed.

"Thank you, for remembering what I could not. Words cannot express my gratitude." Optimus looked her in the eyes as he spoke with more sincerity than I had heard from him in vorns.

"No problem. You have a lot of worrying to do as it is. We don't need missing memories plaguing your thoughts. Anyway, we still have a bunch more stuff to go through, so let's get going. The next message says:

Hi. Name's Aria. I only have a few questions for you guys, and to be quite honest, I'm not sure why.

Bulkhead, do you know Breakdown's dead? If you do, how did you react? Were you angry you didn't get to kill him?

Bumblebee, was it frustrating when you went racing with Jack and he couldn't understand what he was saying?

That's pretty much it. Bye."

"Breakdown's dead?" Bulkhead's optics widened. No wonder we haven't seen him with Knockout.

"Well, there's a reaction for you. Next part..." Samantha gestured with her hand, trying to urge Bulkhead to keep going.

"No, I never wanted to kill the guy. I just wanted to give him a good beat down for letting all those people die that day on Cybertron." He shook his head, emphasizing his words. Bumblebee beeped and buzzed nodding vigorously after Bulkhead in response to his question.

"Yeah, I'd get pretty frustrated, too. But have you ever tried clipping out words and phrases using your radio?" Samantha suggested. Crystal spoke up.

"Hey, that's '07 movie-verse Bumblebee's thing."Crystal crossed her arms over her chest, staring at her friend.

"True that, true that. Anonymous BW FanGirl wants Ratchet to know that he's awesome even when not on Synth-En. And they want to tell Arcee that she is the awesomest incarnation of her character. They sent a Grimlock plushy for Wheeljack, too." Samantha listed off.

"Why would you send a Grimlock plushy to this continuality? Wheeljack wasn't on Earth long enough to create Grimlock, let alone the rest of the Dinobots." Crystal stated, absently placing a hand on her hip.

"Grimlock? Who's Grimlock?" Bulkhead asked. As far as I know, there are only two ways that Cybertronians are created, and neither is what she may be suggesting.

I really hope my Synthetic Energon trip isn't brought up again. I had the worst headache the next solar cycle and the hole Megatron punched into my side did not help at all.

"No one anyone here in this dimension would know. No one, besides Crystal and I, anyway." She said, leaving no room for discussion. "ANYWAY, next question..." Samantha looked hard at her papers again, placing the digital recorder she held in her hand on a box sitting next to her.

"Oh, it's for me! ...Hmmm... As much as I would love to let you and your friends in, I have the strange feeling you might take Bumblebee and never give him back." Samantha said, mildly sarcastic. Bumblebee gave a high-pitched buzz in alarm.

"Don't worry, no one's coming through. The reason why they want to take you is because you're so fragging cute! I mean, come _on_! You have the cutest voice and the most adorable optics!" I watched in amusement as Bumblebee fidgeted at the attention.

"Thank you, anonymous fan! Uh...ooh! Another anonymous fan sent a voice recording for you all. I just... need to... find it first..." Samantha started digging through an opened box. Crystal stood up and went to an unopened box and retrieved another digital recorder that seemed to be sitting right on top of the other items in the cardboard box. She wore a rather smug look on her face and handed it to her friend.

"Thanks! Where did you find it?"

"Right where you put it. On top of everything that was in the biggest box we brought, the place you put so you would forget it."

"Hey, no need for making me feel stupid."

"Did I honestly need to help you with that?" Samantha gazed at her comrade, smiling.

"Do you really want to piss me off? You should know that I can be worse than Ratchet."

"Ha, what make you think you can get worse that Ratchet when he's mad? I swear to Primus, he could send me running for the hills!" Bulkhead laughed. I stayed silent.

"Dude. She threw a drill at me. I thank God every day now that she missed me that time. But the freaking thing hit the metal wall and _stayed_ there!" Crystal shivered, probably remembering that encounter.

"I become a completely different person when I'm really angry. And when I'm done, I must confess that I feel like a monster." Samantha shrugged.

"Did you seriously just quote Monster by Skillet?" Jack asked.

"Yep, sure did! Hero is my favorite one, though. It reminds me of Optimus. Okay, the train's about to go off the rails again. Let's play the recording, shall we?" With that, she clicked 'Play' on the small device. The voice of a young human met my audio receptors.

_"How did you get the Decepticon insignia off Optimus, Ratchet? Or did you just paint over it? And if you did just paint over it, doesn't painting over it kind of mean he's still a con of sorts? Because he still has the symbol of affiliation on him somewhere in that case? People remove tattoos when they don't want them. Well some people do. Others just tattoo over top the old one but serious people remove them totally off their skin ...so did you remove it from yours or not? OMG I sound like Miko when I ask all that. Eww. And ... Did it hurt to get it removed, Optimus?"_

That human did indeed sound like Miko.

"Someone would have had to rip spark out and throw my scraps in the Pit to keep me from taking that thing off Optimus' shoulder!" I snarled, My EM field vibrating with bitterness and hatred towards Megatron. That mark on his shoulder nearly gave me a spark attack when our leader returned to base. After calming myself, I continued.

"Anyway, I just apply heat to where the insignia was welded onto his frame and pry it off while it's still hot."

"Hm, intriguing. So, did it hurt, Optimus? I doubt it did, though." Samantha tilted her head to the side, looked up at Optimus, who stood at his full height.

"Yes, the removal of the insignia was painful, but worth it."

"So that explains the grunting I heard in the Med Bay..." Bulkhead mumbled to himself. Why does everyone think we do _that_ in the med bay when I'm alone with Optimus? Samantha gave a strange sort of smile.

That smile unnerved me.

"Thanks for reminding me, Bulkhead! Time to reveal the fan art!"

**Geez... That was so long! Anyway, got any ideas for the fan art and fanfiction and other fan created stuff to show the Autobots? I want to embarrass the slag outta them! This is gonna be **_**delicious**_**! :)**

**I'm taking a break from the questions in the next chapter. I've got a few questions for you all. They'll help me along the way with the story.**

**If the Autobots were animals, what would they be? **

**If each Autobot had a theme song what would it be?**

**What food would each Autobot be most likely to eat if they were human?**

**See you all in the next chapter! Peace out!**


	4. What the?

**My lovely readers! Oh... why have I not updated in so long...? Anyway, here you go!  
**

**Get ready, get ready!**

"F-fan art?" Jack said nervously. What was fan art? Why was it making Jack so nervous? I gazed down at the human, perplexed.

"Uh huh!" Samantha nodded, wearing that disconcerting smile.

"What kind of fan art?" Bulkhead asked, just as nervous as Jack. I am going to assume he has an idea of what 'fan art' is.

"The fan art varies so much that it's better to just not explain it. I'll show you. I'll start with the milder ones. " She literally dived into the biggest box that the two young humans had carried in. All we could see were her kicking legs as she threw things out of the box and onto the floor. She had better clean that mess up. We stood watching her, wondering what she was going to show us. Samantha placed her feet back on the ground and straightened, a large folded sheet of paper in her small hands.

"An anonymous fan sent this. It's called 'We've Missed You'. Look it!" She unfolded the paper and held it up with the help of her friend, Crystal. My spark flared with warmth and slight embarrassment when I gazed upon the drawing on the paper.

It was a picture of Optimus with a surprised look on his faceplates as the rest of us gave him what the humans would call a 'group hug'. I was on Optimus' left. Hugging him directly to the right of me was Arcee, sided by Bumblebee. On Optimus' right was Bulkhead. We all looked serious and relieved while hugging our leader. I'm glad the actual group hug never happened. I would never hear the end of it from the humans (Miko).

"Awww, that was so _cute_! I could cry..." Samantha sniffed, dabbing at an eye.

"Did that really happen?" Crystal looked up at Optimus, curious as to what his general response was to that picture.

Our leader gave a very small smile. "Though that particular event did not take place, Bumblebee came close to knocking me down while attempting to hug me."

I smirked, remembering the moment. I have never seen the youngling so happy before. Bumblebee rubbed the back of his helm and whirred, slightly embarrassed.

"Aside from that, I highly doubt Ratchet and Arcee would participate in such an activity," Optimus continued, adding a rare miniscule dose of sarcasm to his voice. I scoffed and rolled my optics, being the only one who caught the tone in his voice.

"You never know what people would really do in a certain situation till you're in it. Anyway, let's look at some more mild ones." Samantha cleared her throat and turned back towards the large box from before.

"W-What do you mean by 'mild'?" Rafael asked curiously. I shifted my gaze between the two girls occasionally.

"I say mild to mean cute and fluffy, kinda like this." She reached into the box again and produced another folded poster.

"This one I found myself. " She held up the poster, letting gravity unfold it for her. There was a very well done and detailed drawing of Optimus and Bumblebee. In the picture depicted our leader playing with the sparkling version of the youngling.

None of the pain of the war showed on the bots' faces. It was depicted as if the war never happened. My spark flared again, this time with yearning for the perfect world in the drawing. If this _war_ had not taken place, Cybertron would still be alive. So many people would still be here. Primus could smile upon his sparklings without sadness for the near constant conflict. But, this war did indeed happen. Permanent mental and physical scars are there to prove that. So many of our people have been lost to the energon soaked claws of war. So many that should not have died. There were so many that I couldn't _save_ ...

"That is very nice of you. But what inspired you to search for such a piece?" Optimus asked. I could tell that he liked the idea of playing with a sparkling and forgetting the sorrow of the war. This war has added a sort of weight to his frame that increased ever so slowly over the vorns.

Samantha cleared her throat. "Though you may not have any sparklings, as far as I know anyway, I decided to find this picture of you with a sparkling since it seems like a very realistic situation. You'd be surprised how many people depict you in fanfiction with little ones running around your pedes." Our leader continued to look at her, silently prompting her to elaborate.

"I mean, you seem like someone who's really good with kids and would do well raising them. Now, I'm gonna show you some different fan art. This one is of Arcee and Optimus." The girl leaned over the large box and pulled out another folded poster. Crystal went over and took a peek at the hidden picture. Suddenly she reared back dramatically, hands over her face.

"You can_not_ show them that! What would Bumblebee think?!" Crystal cried. Samantha gave her that same slow forming, disconcerting smile.

"Mechs, femmes! Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you... romance fan art!" She unfolded the paper and revealed the work within. What th- Oh, Primus.

I facepalmed hard enough to hear the metal plates clank. On that accursed poster was indeed of Optimus and Arcee. Only they were in a dark room.

A _very_ dark room.

Arcee might have been in Optimus' berth room. The look in his optics (he was wearing his battle mask) could only be described with the words, 'What the Pit?' as Arcee lay directly on top our leader with the most innocent look on her faceplates, one servo resting on Optimus' windshield. I dared to look over at Arcee. Surprisingly, she didn't have the murderous look in her optics that I expected. Instead, she looked almost _smug_ by the sight of the position she was in. I swear to Primus, I could see a smirk on her face! That smirk let other... _images_ crawl their way into my processor. I shook my helm slightly, quickly squashing those unsightly things.

"Heh heh heh, I'm not even gonna bother asking for comments. You two's expressions are so priceless. I am _so_ glad I invented the Inter-dim Transporter!" Samantha looked to the ceiling at the last sentence, looking as she was thanking a divine deity for her success. Jack stepped forward.

"Before you show us anything else, what even made you invent that?"

Samantha looked pleased to have been asked the question. "There's an interesting story there. You see, five years ago, the first of the Transformers movies came out. At that time I was considered an engineering prodigy and could care less about the Transformers, despite the hype surrounding it. I decided to watch the movie anyway with a few friends. In my opinion, just about all the humans were annoying but I was intrigued by the entire conflict between Optimus and Megatron. Plus I was immediately drawn to Ratchet and Ironhide."

I gave a confused look. Ironhide hasn't been heard from in a very long time. I last saw him doing what he does best. Scaring the slag out of an entire fleet of Decepticons and chasing them off. Interested, I gazed at Samantha, who continued speaking.

"I did some research and discovered the rich back story for each of you guys. But what really kicked off the construction of my project was the sight of Optimus in his flame adorned Peterbilt form in my dream. Look." She held up yet another poster. It was a picture of a red and blue flame adorned truck parked in a grassy lot.

"He didn't even say anything to me but, I swear, the clouds parted and I heard a halleluiah choir. From then on I was a diehard Transformers fan and worked full time on the prototypes for the travel device. Thankfully the Transformers fan base saw that the stuff I invent usually works and supported me all the way. "

"And what other things have you invented?" I questioned. Samantha gave a toothy smile.

"I'm glad you asked. I invented something I like to call the Es-Tran. It's essentially a device that can allow two people to switch bodies. Crystal, do you mind getting it for me?"

"Yes I do mind. You got two legs that aren't broken."

Samantha shot her a glare. I shuddered, armor rattling quietly. If looks could kill...

"Anyway, we have to keep this plane on course. I have some more fan art to show you guys. This one is one of my personal favorites."

She folded up the other pieces of fan art and placed them back in the box she retrieved them from. She returned with yet another folded paper.

"I picked this one just because I love Ratchet." She smiled sweetly at me and silently unfolded the paper.

The title was Roid Rage Ratchet. Arcee was holding onto my arm, trying to hold me back. She said, 'I've had it, Mister! I'm taking you to rehab right this instant!' while I shouted loudly, 'COME GET SOME!'

"They will never leave him alone about that, will they?" Crystal asked.

"Nope! Moral of that episode: Just say 'no' to drugs." Bulkhead couldn't stop snorting as Samantha answered her friend. I facepalmed yet again.

"Everything was boosted up by that stuff! And I mean EVERYTHING. 'How's it humming?'" The young human quoted. At this rate, I may have to hide in my berthroom and not come out.

"You were awesome in battle the first time but you went from kickaft to jackaft really fast. " I can't say that I disagree with her. Samantha placed the posters back in their respective places.

There's alot of fan art and I'll show you more as we go along. Right now, I want to show you all your fan selected theme songs."

Miko perked up. "Theme songs? The Autobots get theme songs? What songs are they are the metal or rock? Who made them an-" Samantha raised a hand, silencing her.

"Yes, the Autobots get theme songs, chosen by myself and the fans. I'll start with one of Bulkhead's. Miko, do you mind if I plug up my MP3 player to your speakers?"

"No, go ahead."

"'Kay, thanks." Samantha reached into her back pocket and pulled out the small device. Soon enough, it was plugged in.

"This one is called A Warrior's Call by Volbeat." Bulkhead smiled a bit, liking the title of the song already. Suddenly you could hear the beating of drums and other instruments, growing more and more climatic as the time goes by. The music was intense and seemed to anticipate a fight. Then the music stopped for a moment.

"_LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"_

A bell sounded loudly and the pace picked up. I have the strange feeling that Bulkhead will play this song _quite _frequently.

"_Feel the fire he's entered the ring.  
His mindset only knows how to win.  
This Danish fighter will break you in two.  
You will feel all his power."_

Yeah, that's Bulkhead, alright." Jack commented from near Arcee's pede. We are not even a minute into the song and already the others agree with the fans' song choice. I wonder what other songs they have for us if they did this well with the choice Bulkhead. Optimus wore his usual unreadable expression and Bumblebee nodded his helm to the beat of the song. Loud rock music ensued as I turned the volume down slightly on my audio receptors.

"_Feel the power of the warrior.  
Fight, fight, fight, fight!  
Let's get ready to rumble.  
Fight, fight, fight, fight!"_

"_Breaking your record and breaking your bones.  
Born a warrior with a code.  
A champion feeding your face with a fist.  
You will feel all his power!"_

Now that I think about it... this song truly does fit Bulkhead while he's in battle. During the few times that I've actually seen Bulkhead fight, he is certainly a formidable foe for the Vehicons as well as any other Decepticon. Some of them don't even have time to engage their weapons before the mech takes them out. The lyrics 'You won't even hear the bell' is very fitting for the Vehicons that face off with Bulkhead. Suddenly the song and music calmed down and seemed to smooth itself out.

"_Behold here comes the son.  
Believe it, he was born to be the chosen one.  
The call is for a warrior.  
His name will echo on the sea and on the ground."_

All of us unconsciously and simultaneously glanced in Optimus' direction.

"_Feel the fire he's entered the ring.  
His mindset only knows how to win.  
This Danish fighter will break you in two.  
You will feel all his power!"_

I don't particularly care for this sort of human music but it reminded me so much of the strong Wrecker on our team it frightened me. Soon the song ended and silenced filled the silo for a brief moment.

"So what do you think?" Crystal and Samantha said simultaneously. All of us in the room looked at Bulkhead, who looked pleased with himself.

"Ha ha, what can I say? It fits me perfectly. Now I have a new song to download." Bulkhead's optics brightened a bit. Crystal clapped her hands once, drawing our attention back to her.

"Alright, next song: Halcyon by Owl City. This is Bumblebee's song, chosen by his fan base." Samantha jabbed the buttons on her music player.

"You hear that, Bee? You've got a theme song!" Rafael reiterated excitedly. Bumblebee was equally excited, seeing that he was almost bouncing on his pedes, doorwings perked.

A moment later cheerful, musical beeps flooded out of the speakers.

"_I mean, hey, if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music, am I right?"_

More musical beeps followed and sounded eerily like Bumblebee singing. When he was bored around the base, Bumblebee liked to create cheery little songs and sing them aloud to whomever would listen. Though I must admit that he has a great singing voice for somebot with no official training, I am fairly confident that Bumblebee didn't go off and record a song with the humans. The song was incredibly short but did not fail to capture Bumblebee's friendly, easy-going, and fun-loving personality. The ending lyrics made no sense to me, however.

"_Yeah, it was just a dream."_

Bumblebee beeped, buzzed, and whirred in approval of the song. He had started to move to the rhythm of the music and bounce on his pedes. I could tell that he was all smiles at this point.

"Awww, I could listen to that on a loop all day!" Samantha cried happily.

"Did you go and make that yourself, Bee? 'Cause it sure sounded like you!" Bulkhead patted Bumblebee hard on the back, making him stagger forward a bit. Bumblebee's cheerfulness never faded, however.

"Next in line: Ratchet!" Crystal dramatically pointed at me. "Samantha, turn on Citizen/Soldier by Three Doors Down, please."

"Will do. Just... give me a minute... here we go! We give you Ratchet's theme song!" I caught a flash of curiosity in Optimus' optics. I prepared myself for something I didn't expect. But the lyrics that met our ears were something I could not have prepared for. The song sounded steady and stable, yet awaiting the unexpected. What sounded like the ghosts of the past whispered behind the music. Then, the lyrics began.

_Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,  
Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.  
So many times you did not bring this on yourself,  
When that moment finally comes,  
I'll be there to help._

_On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,  
I'll be right here.  
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.  
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,  
We'll always be ready because we will always be there._

Optimus stood very still, only thing moving were his optics spiraling occasionally. The rest of the group listened intently, straining to catch every word said. The girl as well as the fans picked the other songs well, but, this one does not fit me at all. I pressed my lips firmly together and continued to listen. One set of lyrics stood out to me, however.

_Right here underneath my wing,  
You can rest your head._

I do whatever I can to make sure that all of the bots are well and healthy. I was the same way back on Cybertron. I found creator-less sparklings and elderly bots and tried to take care of them all at once. But, I could never truly save them. Many of them offlined eventually. Those who survived lost their minds, unable to handle the stress and trauma of war. I begun to think it was better to not try to help them.

_On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,  
I'll be right here!_

But, there was the solar cycle when I became Optimus' official medic. Though he may be among the greatest leaders the universe has ever seen, he can't take care of everyone and everything, as muchh as he'd hate to admit it. There have been several times when the Autobots felt completely and utterly hopeless back on Cybertron and Optimus' speeches were of no help. The Decepticons had terminated several respected bots and that put our morale at an all time low. Once I saw that Optimus was starting to lose hope, I took it upon myself to boost the morale. Having been a politician at one point, I utilized those skills I had learned so long ago. The Autobots could obviously tell I was acting out of character when I called them instead of Optimus. Seeing my attempt to bring hope into their sparks, they all realized how hopeless they had truly gotten and embraced the comfort I tried with all my spark to give them. I could tell Optimus was thinking back to that time when I saw a miniscule smile creep onto his faceplates. He and I both knew that if we gave up hope, that if we gave up hope... We would never return home.

_Hope and pray that you'll never need me,  
But rest assured I will not let you down.  
I'll walk beside you but you may not see me,  
The strongest among you may not wear a crown._

In my line of work, I was rarely honored. Bots expect me to do this with no reward. And I accept that. This is my job. This is my duty. My role in this sickening war. Though it can be very hard and sometimes I feel a powerful urge to give in to emotions, I have to pull it all together and complete the tasks at hand. Though, I am certainly not the strongest. Yet again, I disagree with this chosen song.

The song ended. There was a moment of silence before I spoke up.

"I don't think that you chose a suitable song for me. It seems to praise more than what is due." Everyone in the room except Optimus let out some sort of protest. But before any could try and reason why the song fit me, Optimus raised a servo, silencing everyone. He looked down at me, a deadly serious look in his optics. I stepped back a bit, shocked. He has never given me that look before!

"I disagree, Ratchet. I cannot think of another mech who deserves this song more. You have been there since the beginning and never wavered in your purpose. Many Autobots own their lives to you. Though many have died under your care, those you could not save, your skills and determination saved countless other sparks from being extinguished. Your self-sacrificial ways are to be commended. Had you not been with us, I highly doubt I would be standing before you. Overall, one thing shall remain true. The strongest among us may not wear a crown."

Silence followed after Optimus shifted to gaze at all the bots and humans. I could only blink dumbly. Had he just said that I was the strongest...?

"I am so glad I got that on tape." Samantha mused happily. "But seriously, I honestly do believe that Ratchet has the strongest spark out of all of you. No offense, Boss Bot."

"No, I do indeed agree with your statement. Many see me as the strongest, but I wasn't the one who had to repair my broken and beaten comrades on a regular basis. Had I become a medic, my value of life would be much lower. Ratchet, however, reversed that effect that happened to so many on Cybertron and valued life more than ever before."

Well, he's not wrong.

Bumblebee buzzed and beeped, agreeing with our leader. He knows more than most how caring I can be when one of my teammates is hurt. He found that out after the incident at Tyger Pax. I didn't let the youngling leave the med bay until he was back to full health. Granted, he was rather irritated at the moment with me.

"Well, time to move it along. Up next: Arcee! Your song is Cinderella by the Cheetah Girls. Me thinks you might like this one."

"_When I was just a little girl,  
My mama used to tuck me into bed,  
And she'd read me a story._

It always was about a princess in distress  
And how a guy would save her  
And end up with the glory.

I'd lie in bed  
And think about  
The person that I wanted to be,

Then one day I realized  
The fairy tale life wasn't for me.

This is definitely Arcee. I caught Jack smiling up at his femme guardian. Many femmes, because of their fragile appearances, were overprotected by the mechs around them. Arcee and Cliffjumper were extremely close but I know he could be overprotective of her at times. And that bothered Arcee to no end.

_Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself._

So, so true. Arcee hated having to be rescued. She did some rather reckless things early on in the war to prove that she didn't need help from anyone. At first she hated the idea of a partner, thinking that it would make her appear weak. Contrary to that, the experience strengthened her.

_I can slay (I can slay) my own dragons. (My own dragons)  
I can dream my own dreams. (My own dreams)  
My knight in shining armor (shining armor) is me.  
So I'm gonna set me free._

Though she had come to appreciate Cliffjumper's help, certain missions she insisted she could do on her own. On one particular mission, she was nearly captured by a squadron of Vechicons. They completely surrounded her and grew overconfident, seeing her size. There were fourteen of them around the femme.

Apparently, fourteen wasn't enough.

I arrived myself with my medical kit, along with Cliffjumper and Bumblebee , having recieved a message from Bumblebee that Arcee was in danger. Arcee walked past us through the Ground Bridge we had just exited, leaving us to gawk at the gory aftermath.

_I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody (oh -Oh)to come and set me free.  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself. _

The song concluded abruptly and I gazed at Arcee, optics gleaming with curiosity.

"All I can say is: perfect." She smiled gently, pleased with the humans' selection in songs. "Well, it's your turn, Optimus."

"Right on! Crystal, hit the play button! My support team went through many, many songs sent in by the fans to find this one." Samantha said that last bit in a singsong voice. Optimus unconsciously tilted his head to the side slightly, no doubt curious about what music choice he would get. Unfortunately for him, he didn't know very much about human music.

"Yes, ma'am!" But before Crystal could even move a very loud voice sounded.

"PRIME!"

**I am saddened right now. Oh, so **_**sad**_**. School starts tomorrow for me. Anyway, I wanna give a special shout out to Starcee138. You really helped me out with these theme songs. ****Devil-O-Angel, Thanks so much for the fan art suggestions! I'll use them where ever I can. **

**And for the rest of you guys, thanks for your suggestions! I plan on using the animals for later. ;)**

**Well, if ya got a question, comment or gift for the Autobots, don't be shy! Now I'm looking for more thought provoking questions. Do you have any?**

**See you in the next chapter!**


	5. Kidnap Author

**I'm really creeped out right now. While I was writing this, I got this weird transmission. Find out who sent it at the end of this chap.**

**Anyway, I'll be tweaking the reviews you guys sent me a bit so they'll fit in to the story, but I won't change them too much. **

**Let's light this candle!  
**

"PRIME!" I vented. Great. Just, _great_. I rolled my optics as Special Agent William Fowler stomped down the metal stairs.

"EEP!" Samantha squeaked. I blinked only to see her gone from her spot in the floor and clinging to Optimus' ankle for dear life. I resisted a smile as Optimus moved to give his full attention to the angry agent, ever calm and collected, the young human still holding on tightly.

"You're really in for it this- What in George Washington's name is that?" Agent Fowler looked over at the fan-chosen objects all over the floor brought by Samantha and Crystal.

Optimus began to address the angry human, only to be cut off by the girl on his ankle.

"Are you intent upon pissing Prime off? I've seen it when he's angry. Not. Pretty." She climbed off our leader's ankle, huffing dramatically.

Fowler gave her an incredulous look. "Are you seriously trying to run a daycare center? These three are more than enough but bringing _another_ kid here?! You really went off book this time. " He near shouted at Optimus as Samantha walked over to a small box and opened it. She pulled out a small object and strode over to Agent Fowler.

"Take this: it's from IBrokeThe4thWall."

"Why are you giving me a Tylenol?"

"Call it a 'chill pill'."

He huffed, putting it in his jacket pocket. "Did these bots bring you here?"

"No. I brought myself here." After the baffled expression he gave her, she proceeded to tell him about the Inter-dim Transporter, the television show from another dimension called Transformers Prime, the items given to her to give to us and our millions of fans we saw on the podcast transmission earlier.

"...You have got to be kidding me." Agent Fowler said, still not believing her. Samantha put her hands on her hips.

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Do you not see the _enormous_ Autobot insignia on my shirt?"

"If this is some kind of joke..." Agent Fowler said, a hidden threat in his tone

"This is not a joke, Agent Fowler. She is telling the truth." Optimus confirmed. Samantha waved her hands around.

"Hello, I don't know about you, but I want to get through these songs. If you want to stick around, you can. But we have to keep this thing moving. Optimus Prime, you're theme, Hero by Skillet, is up next."

"Wait, wait, wait. You chose a _theme song_ for Prime?" Agent Fowler interrupted, still having issues believing Samantha's story.

Samantha smiled patiently. "Look, I have a lot a slag to go through, so can you _please_ hold your fragging comments until after the song?" Not even giving Fowler a chance to respond, she clicked a button on her MP3 player. The music was loud and abrupt. Normally, I'd find this sort of music highly annoying but this song sounded... _different_ from other songs. It sounded almost like someone walking into a fight, if music could even do that.

"_I'm just a step away.  
I'm just a breath away.  
Losing my faith today. (Falling off the edge today!)_

_I am just a man._  
_Not superhuman. (I'm not superhuman!)_  
_Someone save me from the hate."_

This doesn't sound like him. At least, not the Prime standing next to me. It sounded almost like Orion Pax, in the days just before Primus declared him one of his disciples. He was full of doubt before he entered our planet's core. He saw much, much less potential in himself than I saw in him. He knew what he had to do, but, it was matter of Orion's own confidence in himself. I could only encourage him to do what he thought was right. Everyone listened silently as the song continued.

_"It's just another war._  
_Just another family torn. (Falling from my faith today!)_  
_Just a step from the edge._  
_Just another day in the world we live._

_I need a hero to save me now._  
_I need a hero. (Save me now!)_  
_I need a hero to save my life._  
_A hero will save me. (Just in time!)"_

At some point, Optimus has been a hero to all of the bots here. The few times I've been out on the battlefield with him, I could see that he will bravely try to cover for you, even when he can barely fend off his own attackers. The wounds he comes back with on a regular basis never fail to give me a massive headache, though, since I'm the one who's going to have to put his sorry aft back together.

_"I've gotta fight today,  
To live another day.  
Speaking my mind today. (My voice will be heard today!)_

_I've gotta make a stand._  
_But I am just a man. (I'm not superhuman!)_  
_My voice will be heard today!"_

I shot a glance over at Optimus, who was staring a bit off into space, expression unreadable. At times, I truly could not _stand_ how stony his expression was! No one could figure out what was on his processor when he was like this. I huffed silently and shifted my attention back to the song that I was beginning to enjoy.

"_It's just another war.  
Just another family torn. (My voice will be heard today!)  
It's just another kill.  
The countdown begins to destroy ourselves!"_

I know for a fact that Optimus is sick of this war. The same goes for the rest of us. For a while it became the norm to see separated families, members terminated by the Decepticons. It became normal to kill. And, eventually, if this war goes nowhere, both sides will destroy each other. In the end, everyone will lose.

I looked over at our leader again, smiling slightly. I _know_ Optimus has other plans.

"_I need a hero to save me now.  
I need a hero. (Save me now!)  
I need a hero to save my life.  
A hero will save me. (Just in time!)"_

_I need a hero to save my life.  
I need a hero. (Just in time!)  
Save me just in time...  
Save me just in time."_

This pleading is beginning to sound like our troops while they were being recruited. While they all varied greatly, they all had the same sense of hopelessness. Everyone there had lost something of great value to them, myself included. We all needed help. And Optimus provided that for us.

_(Who's gonna fight for what's right?)  
(Who's gonna help us survive?)  
We're in the fight of our lives!  
And we're not ready to die._

_(Who's gonna fight for the weak?)_  
_(Who's gonna make 'em believe?)_  
_I've got a hero. (I've got a hero!)_  
_Living in me."_

Everyone was in awe, whether they showed it or not, at how well the song fitted our leader. At our lowest point, he was our only source of hope. We found out just how much we needed that hope when Optimus suffered from memory loss and joined the Decepticon ranks. With him not there, our team nearly fell apart. Bumblebee, Bulkhead and Samantha all nodded their heads at the beat of the music, clearly enjoying it. Arcee's optics brightened in silent approval and the children nodded to each other, chattering quietly about the lyrics. Optimus...

_"(I'm gonna fight for what's right!)_  
_(Today I'm speaking my mind!)_  
_And if it kills me tonight,_  
_(I will be ready to die!)_

_A hero's not afraid to give his life._  
_A hero's gonna save me just in time."_

Optimus is the kind of mech who will take the bullet for you. He is ready to die for all of us at anytime if it meant saving all of our lives. But I pray to Primus that it doesn't ever come down to that again. We all are fearful of losing our leader.

"_I need a hero to save me now  
I need a hero, save me now  
I need a hero to save my life  
A hero will save me just in time_

_"I need a hero. (Who's gonna fight for what's right?)_  
_(Who's gonna help us survive?)_

_"I need a hero. (Who's gonna fight for the weak?)_  
_Who's gonna make 'em believe?)_  
_I've got a hero._

_"I need a hero._  
_A hero's gonna save me just in time!"_

The song concluded just as abruptly as it started. Everyone voiced their approval of the song selected, with the exception of Optimus who remained silent. Suddenly everyone stared at him for his opinion he had not yet expressed.

"So? What do you think, Optimus Prime?" Pure respect resonated from the young woman's voice as she used his title. Samantha's eyes glittered, anticipating his opinion. Optimus cycled air through his systems several times before answering.

"Much like Cybertron, Earth has much music. I know that it is very hard to find a single song that suits multiple aspects of my personality, seeing that I am not from your world. And you have accomplished that very well. I thank you for your thought and consideration in making your choice for me."

Optimus closed off that brief message of gratitude and let the words sink in. Samantha was the first to break the silence.

"Hey, Crystal! Is that digital recorder still on?"

"Yes."

"Great! The fans would love to hear that! Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, what was it that you wanted, Agent Fowler?"

The man's head snapped towards her. "Huh? Oh, an abnormally large number of similar UFO sightings have been reported in Wyoming, specifically Yellowstone National Park. We don't know whether or not if it's the 'Cons or MECH, that's why we need you and your team to investigate, Prime."

...

"So, you got anything else while we wait?" Jack questioned Samantha. I had just bridged Bulkhead, Optimus and Bumblebee out to the national park and Agent Fowler left. I leaned against the Bridge controls and looked at the children, curious as to what else was sent for us.

I interviewed janit3443 and have a video of the session." Samantha poked at a few buttons on the large television screen and Samantha and another human appeared on the screen.

"_So, do you have something you want to tell the Autobots?" Samantha asked from her seat on the other side of the small table._

_Pfft, oh Primus, help me. This. This will be amazing. I can feel it in every atom of my frame, that no matter what questions are asked, this is going to be amazing. Awh Primus, so many questions I'd ask them. But I think I'd start with how tall are they? -and in my mind, I'm dying to ask Prime if he was "available" lmfao... _

_The human before Samantha turned a very interesting shade of red._

"_I mean- just- those hips. But seriously, definitely how tall are they for starters... If they were to eat human food, what would they try first? Hmm... I'm thinking of so many questions, but they're all kinda like, yeah whatever... So I guess I'll stick with those two. " _

"Why does this human talk like they are Cybertronian?" I asked.

"Same reason why I like to use Cybertronian curses. 'Cause they feel like it. So, if you were a human, what food would you eat?"

"Hm... I don't know much about human cuisine... but I would say I would try Penne all'arrabbiata." Everyone stared at me after my answer.

"Okay... on to the next one... I already know how tall the bots are. Optimus is 36 feet high. Bumblebee is 18 feet and Arcee is ...maybe 13 feet high. I believe Bulkhead is 22 feet and you are a little bit shorter than him." Samantha listed off.

"I find it vaguely unsettling that you have an accurate measurement of the Autobots' heights."

"Well, fangirls are generally unsettling. I have to be _really_ unsettling since I brought myself to you. Anyway, I'll be sure to ask the rest of the bots about the food for janit3443. But Devil-O-Angel has a question for _you_, Ratchet." She said, pointing at me. "I remember their question this time. They want to know if you really care about the three charges and everyone."

I hesitated. Being slightly hostile towards them was a fairly good way to be left in peace while working. Inside, I truly do care about all of them but showing it is something I prefer not to do. I shifted slightly under the gaze of all the children. They may have been wondering about the same question.

"Yes, I do. But I would rather not show it." Well, that was easier than I thought.

"R-really, Ratchet?" Rafael's eyes sparkled behind his glasses. I scoffed.

"If that wasn't true, I certainly wouldn't have said it."

The comm link on the Ground Bridge monitor went off and a voice sounded.

"_Arcee to base. We need a Bridge." _

A moment later I let the four of them back into the base. No one was damaged, thank Primus.

"That was fast. How'd it go, Boss Bot?" Miko ran forward, towards our leader.

"It went surprisingly well. Though there were a few Decepticons in the park, they were only scouting for a nonexistent energon deposit. Once they saw us, both of them fled."

"Oh, well. Boss Bot, I have a question to ask you." Samantha looked up at him, who continued to look at her, prompting her to continue.

"I think I already know the answer to this but janit3443 wants to know if you're 'available'."

Oh, Primus, why would anyone ask him that? I facepalmed and shook my head. Bumblebee beeped, curious as to what his answer would be.

"I am sorry to disappoint you but, no, I am not 'available'. What would make them ask that sort of question?" Optimus' optics brightened in amusement as he looked down at the young woman.

"They said and I quote, 'I mean- just- those hips.' Need I say more?" She smirked.

"Why are humans so fascinated in my... _physical_ features?"

"Because you're too fragging sexy for your own good. Moving on..." Bulkhead started snorting uncontrollably as Samantha went to grab some papers.

"Alright, if you guys were humans, what foods would you try?" She looked at each of them, expecting an answer.

"Well, if I were a human, I'd go for a burger with a beer." Bulkhead said thoughtfully.

"Beer?" I asked, confused. I had never heard of this substance before.

"Think 'high grade for humans'."

"Ah."

"I'd have a Chicken Ceasar Salad." Arcee said shortly. Whatever that is, it sounds like something she would eat if she were human. Bumblebee buzzed and whirred.

"A grilled cheese sandwich with a pickle? I like your style, man!" Samantha praised. "Well, What would you eat, Boss Bot?"

"From what I know of human foods, I would be most likely to try apple pie."

"Huh. I thought you'd go for a plain old apple. I have a voice recording from CatGirlFireFlare." Crystal silently retrieved a small device and handed it to her friend. Samantha clicked a button to play the message to us.

"_Yo! I gots some things to say to the Autobots. One: YOU GUYS (and femme,) ARE SO AWESOME! Two: Arcee, can you please kill Starscream and Airachnid? Please? PLEASE? I'll help you do it if I could! Three: Miko, have you ever considered doing a prank involving duct tape? My sis and I are very good at that! Oh, the chaos we could cause... Four: I was just curious, but which of the cons are most annoying to you? I loathe Screamer. Five: In my universe you are a TV show. Do you find it disturbing that we can see what you are doing almost all the time? I would.  
Anywho, that's it...for now...muahahhahah!"_

"Man, she sure has a lot to say! Let's get on with it, shall we?"Crystal spoke this time, shifting her gaze to all of us, bot and human, individually.

"Humans are so interested in us." I muttered. Arcee smirked at her question.

"As much as I'd love to put Starscream down, I can't. We have no idea where he is and plus, if he can easily fend off Optimus and Dreadwing combined, he'd probably kill me if I were by myself, let alone with you. And we already have Airachnid detained."

Miko perked up. "No, I haven't thought about a duct tape prank... thanks for the idea! I'll start looking them up." She gave a grin sent a chill through me. I'll have to watch my back for the next few days.

"I would say the most annoying 'Con would be Knockout. I swear to Primus, he's the Con version of Sunstreaker! Putting up a huge fuss over a Primus-fragging paintjob! Although... Starscream_ is_ annoying in his own way. " I answered immediately. The look in the others' optics said they agreed.

"It is certainly disconcerting that so many humans are watching us on a regular basis. The television series Transformers Prime seems to be very popular among humans in your dimension." Optimus relayed everyone's general opinion of the TV series perfectly. I nodded in agreement.

"'Popular' is just the half of it. You would never imagine how obsessed the fans can be! Many are obsessed with individual characters-" Samantha waved her hands around, emphasizing her words. Her friend, Crystal, cut her off.

"She's obsessed with Ratchet." She coughed. I frowned. Strange, strange humans.

"Ya got that right! I am, and always will be, his biggest fan! " Samantha said proudly. Crystal perked suddenly.

"That reminds me of a question someone wanted to ask Ratchet. Knockout'sFanGirl221 wants to know if you will marry her." Crystal leaned against a nearby box as if she had just told me what the weather was like.

"Hold up, _what did she ask_?! I _know_ she didn't ask that of him. Knockout'sFanGirl, we are gonna have an issue. An issue involving a aluminum bat." Samantha's demeanor changed in a way that would have made Megatron proud.

"Calm yourself, Samantha." Optimus said firmly, but the smile in his voice was unmistakable. He may as well been talking to a rock. The girl continued ranting as if she didn't hear him. I, on the other hand, was rather disturbed by the question. Why did this human want to, of all things, _marry_ me? Crystal spoke above he friend's crazed angry ranting.

"Knockout'sFanGirl isn't alone on that one. You're very popular among the ladies." Crystal smirked at me. I glared in return. The children were all laughing at me.

"If Ratchet actually did do that, wouldn't he be a pedophile?" Miko snickered. That got Bulkhead laughing and Arcee smiling a bit. Optimus just vented and facepalmed , while Samantha continued to rant, screaming and yelling about her 'AK 47', whatever that was.

"Definitely. He's even older than Optimus!"

Rafael looked up at said red and blue mech. "E-Exactly how old are you, Optimus?"

Before he could even open his mouth to respond, Crystal answered for him. "Ten million human years old, give or take a few hundred."

Miko made a loud choking sound and started coughing dramatically. Rafael's eyes grew wide and Jack mouthed the word 'Wow'. Optimus' expression never changed, luckily for him.

"If Doc Bot is older Boss Bot... Man, Ratchet, you are ancient!" Miko exclaimed.

I muttered under my intakes, "I'm not that old." Suddenly, Samantha interrupted loudly.

"-CAUSE IF ANYONE'S GONNA MARRY HIM, IT'S GONNA BE **ME**!" She ceased her ranting and panted like a rabid beast. Silence filled the room, everyone uncertain about what to do.

"Are you done?" Crystal asked, sounding rather disinterested in everything going on around her. Samantha straightened and stiffened, closing her eyes tightly. She inhaled sharply and swiftly relaxed her body.

"Okay, I'm done. I fangirled out, there."

"To answer her question: Frag. No. There is no way in the universe that I would marry a human."

Bumblebee buzzed quietly, making all the other bots laugh. Optimus snapped his mask over his face and turned away slightly, shoulders shaking. I vented.

"I hate all of you."

"Yeah, we love you, too." Crystal remarked. I vented harder. "Knockout'sFanGirl221 has something to say to Bumblebee." The youngling's doorwings perked up a bit higher.

"She says, quote unquote, 'Did you know that you are absolutely adorable? I love your alt-mode. Very snazzy.'"

Bumblebee whirred in response. I rolled my optics. He did get that a lot on Cybertron and the attention became annoying. For some reason, everyone decided to admire Bumblebee when he was in my medbay. I broke more than a few of my wrenches trying to get them to leave and stay away for more than a minute.

"Moving on... Here's Devil-O-Angel again. Here's what they have say:

Miko, have you ever got an A on any projects? Jack, this may be hurtful but, are you ok without your father? Raf, have you ever watched Gundam and think about how Cybertronians are almost alike?

Autobots, what would you do if you could back in time to save some bots? Stop the war? And if you did, would you come back just to see the kids or forget them forever?

And one last question for now, there are rumors of something called 'Rescue Bots' on Griffin Rock, do you know of them?

Well, we don't have the rest of eternity, let's going with those answers." Samantha remarked after reading the message from papers that appeared out of nowhere. We bots looked at the children.

"I got an A on a project once, when I was in... sixth grade." Miko looked up at the ceiling in thought, as if the answer was written up there.

Jack shrugged, "Things are fine without him, especially since Team Prime came along."

"Yeah, I have seen Gundam! The similarities are almost frightening!" Rafael nodded.

"Though we have been through very hard times during the war, I do not know whether or not we would have ended the war. Bonds have been forged during the war that could have never been found under normal circumstances. Bonds I believe we all would be reluctant to break. If we could go back and save a few Autobots, we'd do so gladly. But if it meant never seeing the children... I doubt the other bots would do it." Optimus voiced our opinions perfectly and we all nodded in agreement.

"Aw, I feel special now!" Miko said happily, looking up at her guardian.

"As for Griffin Rock, Optimus was the one who sent them on their mission with the family of humans, so we are aware of the Rescue Bots' presence on the town." I answered gruffly. Crystal walked over to Samantha and handed her a piece of paper.

"This is from SeascapeMural?... I'll read it anyway.

It's simply too bad you two wouldn't go visit the Decepticon base... Or maybe just the Harbringer, for my sake, XD. [SCREAMER :D. Although he'd just get a bloated helm from the whole deal.]  
ANYWAYS.  
I suck at coming up with questions, so... Maybe next time, I'll have something to ask them. In the meantime, this is fragging awesome!  
-SeascapeMural

Hey, I never said I wouldn't go visit the Decepticons, I just said I wouldn't work for them. In fact, I'm going there when I'm done here!"

"WHAT?! Why would you go to the Decepticons?" I exclaimed. This little human must be out of her mind.

"They count as Transformers, don't they?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"There you go. I'm going to the Cons and so is Crystal. Let's keep this show going, shall we? Crystal, who's next?"

"Uh... we need to fire up the Inter-dim Transporter for that."

"Aw-ight! Ratchet, do the honors for us, please." Samantha looked at me expectantly. I vented and went over to the controls. What are they up to now...?

...

"OMP, IT'S THE AUTOBOTS!" A green eyed blonde girl ran out of the Ground Bridge vortex, screaming at an unbearably high pitch.

"Alright, Anonymous BW FanGirl, you got everything?" Samantha walked over to the girl, who gave her a thumbs up.

"I am SO glad you gave me a chance to meet them! I've got two things. " The blonde girl pulled a piece of paper out of her back pocket and unfolded it. Bulkhead, Bumblebee, the children and even Optimus snorted, trying hard not the laugh at the picture on it. I kicked on my cooling fans.

"Presenting, a fangirl's drawing of Arcee and Starscream KISSING!" The blonde girl gave a toothy smile and moved the picture around making sure everyone could see it. Arcee transformed her arm into her blaster and shot a hole clean through Starscream's face on the picture, facial expression never changing from a stony look. That only made Bulkhead burst out laughing. Bumblebee was clutching his sides, having lapsed into a hard, silent laughter. Optimus quickly snapped his battle mask over his face, optics glittering. The little blonde human was completely unphased and even folded the blackened paper to keep.

"Cool! Blaster fire from the femme sharp shooter! I've got one more thing..." The blonde girl ran up to me and wrapped her little arms around me ankle, pressing her face into the metal. I vented.

"What is with humans and hugging me?"

"'Cause you look like you need one! Okay I'm done. Now I can go tell the world about how I met with the Autobots. See ya!" I had never even closed the Bridge in the first place, figuring this would be a quick visit. We stared after her as she ran through the Ground Bridge.

"Well, that was nice. Next up, Starcee138. I already have the letter right here... As for Crystal and I getting on the Nemesis, I've got a plan for that. Just be patient. Knockout's one of my top priorities when it comes to interviews. Here are the two questions for you bots.

Would you think it possible to fall in love with a human?

Do you think a human could ever tame a Decepticon's spark?

Certainly interesting questions. So, whaddya think?"

I scoffed loudly. "Is it possible for you humans to fall in love with a microwave?"

"I'll take that as a 'no'." Crystal said coolly.

"I guess a human _could_ tame a Decepticon spark under certain circumstances..." Arcee said thoughtfully.

"Wow, never expected that response out of you, Arcee. Next in line: Princess of Dreams. Here's the letter:

Princess of Dreams

Hello! It's me again! I'm sorry about the fangirls! Those seas of raging hormones freak me out. Just watch out for more.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for any losses any of you may have suffered. I know all too well how that feels. I lost my great-grandmother when I was young, lost my bunny and within the last year lost a friend that helped me on my journey. I'm sorry any of you had to suffer.

Thanks for hanging out me Arcee. The dream magic worked. I was fun being an Autobot. Too bad the cons had to attack. We sure showed them. Thanks! I admire your bravery Arcee. Thanks. :)

Bumble Bee. Hello! Do you ever like a misfit because you don't have a voice box? If you ever do, remember, different, is what makes you special! :) I know, because I'm different too. I have PDD/NOS, and I've recovered from Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder and depression. Remember, that everyone's things that make them different, is what makes you special.

I wanted to give you all some bags of Dream Dust. They're based on the 4 magic elements, earth, fire, air and water. You'll know what to do when u need it. If you want to better understand it, I'll tell you my story if you want.

Bye! Be careful! See you round the globe!"

"Primus... I thought that battle was just a dream." Arcee mumbled, clearly unnerved.

Bumblebee whirred and chirped in response to his section. Samantha nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, thought you'd say yeah. Princess of Dreams is pretty good at positive reinforcement! _I_ should know that what makes you different makes you special."

Crystal went over to an unopened box and torn off the tape sealing it shut. "She wasn't kidding about the Dream Dust part. " She pulled out four enormous, by her standards, bags. One was white, one was red. One was green and one was blue. Each of them was tied off and gave off a sort of sparkly glow, like stars almost. She dragged them over to Optimus, who crouched down and took them into his large black servo.

"Though these are wonderful gifts, I would like to further understand them before I use them." Optimus said, gazing at the bags in his servo.

"Hopefully we'll find the answer to that in our pile of fan mail. Blazestar of Shadowclan has a quick message for Boss Bot. I memorized this one:

Optimus, my hands down favorite ship is you and Megatron. Do you, past or present have any romantic feelings for him? BE HONEST!"

Everyone chose to wisely be quiet after the message was relayed. We all looked at Optimus, seriously anticipating the answer.

"I have never harbored such feelings towards Megatron at any point in my life."

Samantha blinked a few times. "Wow. Short and simple, is best I guess. Well we have to move on-"

"Are we almost done?" Miko whined. Samantha gave her an incredulous look.

"You're kidding, right? You aren't even halfway through."

**So, how was that? How was the song I picked for Optimus? The foods I picked for the Autobots? I am seriously behind on these reviews! I wanna get to all of them but it's taking so long. **

**To help me catch up, you got any questions/comments/gifts for the 'Cons? Got any ideas on exactly how Samantha and Crystal plan on getting up on the Nemesis? Don't be shy!  
**

**If you really really REALLY wanna leave something for the Autobots, go right ahead.  
**

**I am so AMPED! I got wind a few weeks ago that there's gonna be a new Autobot joining Team Prime in the new episode airing September 7th! *fangirl screech and faints* So who do you think it is? I hope it's either Jazz or Prowl. Mostly Jazz. This would be a great chance for a revival after Megatron ripped the poor guy in half in the 2007 movie.**

**I swear, I think Soundwave's after me. Look at this transmission I got!**

Soundwave

Fanfiction illogical. Purpose: to tell Autobots of other dimensions. Does not compute. Decepticons are much more deserving of this knowledge. It could assist in the defeat of the Autobots. Solution: inform Lord Megatron at once.  
Laserbeak, eject. Operation: Kidnap Author.  
Human, inform Autobots: Soundwave superior, Autobots inferior.

**O.O After seeing Laserbeak outside my bedroom window, I have just been fully motivated to start the 'Con version of this.  
**


	6. Soundwave's Not Kidding

**Hey, You guys! Yeah I know. I haven't updated this in a while. -_- But it's here! I do not own Transformers, Hasbro does. **

**Let's get on with it!**

Messages from the Fans: Transition

"Seriously? We aren't even halfway done?" Miko asked, disbelieving. Samantha tapped her foot on the ground in an irritated manner and pointed at the TV screen.

"Uh, did you see how huge that crowd was? And that's not even all of them! The Transformers fan base is GINORMOUS." I cringed. If that was only a fraction of our fan base, I do not want to know how many there actually are. The fact that so many humans know of our whereabouts is extremely unnerving, regardless of which dimension they are all from.

"Samantha, we got a voice recording from CatGirlFireFlare." Crystal said, leaning slightly against the large TV screen. Samantha turned towards her friend.

"Alright, let's hear it." Crystal clicked the play button on the digital recorder that seemed to have magically appeared in her hands. A shrill, excited female voice came out of the small device.

"_HAHAHAHAHAHA! EPIC YOU ALL IZ! EPIC! Anywho, I was curious, have any of you ever tried a carwash? 'Cause I wondering of your reactions to them. What have any of you ever pulled a prank and if so what was it? I know. I'm evil. But I wish to know! Gotta go, bye!"_

"What was with the laughing?" Arcee asked, reading my mind.

Samantha looked up at the femme. "Oh, that? She had a few Red Bulls before I recorded that. Why she had those in her bag, I will never know. Back to the questions..."

"Bumblebee and I have been through a carwash. I have to admit, it feels kinda nice." Bulkhead said. Bumblebee nodded his head, agreeing with him. Arcee shrugged.

"I've never been through one, but Jack insisted on hand washing me about a month ago." Arcee looked down at her charge, who threw his hands up in surrender.

"You were covered in dirt when you dropped me off at home! My mom would have thrown a fit if I left you like that."

"Optimus? Ratchet?" Samantha prompted. I merely scoffed. I've never been in a car wash and I have no intentions of going through one.

"I have not been in one, though I doubt there is one large enough for my vehicular mode." Optimus responded. Samantha shook her head.

"No, there are truck washes. In fact, there's one in Fernley, Nevada. Speaking of that..." Samantha backed up a few steps so she could fully see Optimus's face. She laced her fingers together and prepared to say something important.

"I love you, Optimus. I really do, but, _please_, fix your paint."

Our leader just blinked at her. Optimus couldn't care less about the appearance of his paintjob, but even _I_ know that it could use some work. Samantha continued on, getting mildly frustrated.

"You are the leader of the Autobots and you, therefore, represent them. I'm sure you want the Autobots to be represented nicely."

Crystal hopped up and began to dig through a box. Before long she was carrying quite a few cans of white, red and blue car paint. I noticed that there were two types of red in her arms.

"This goes for you too, Ratchet. Whenever they do a close-up on you, that scratched up paintjob annoys the slag outta me! And I am not alone on that one!" Samantha exclaimed, waving her hands to emphasize her aggravation.

"Bumblebee, take the paint to the supply vault. I will repair my paintjob at a later time." Optimus said. I just rolled my optics as the yellow scout took the paints from Crystal and headed off to the supply vault.

"As for the prank... well one time Miko and Bumblebee painted Ratchet black and white, stuck a tail and a pair of ears on him. For about a week Ratchet was an angry cat!" Bulkhead answered. I growled at the memory. I had the hardest time getting those ears off. They were attached to neural connections in my CPU, allowing them to move! It made it no better that Optimus said I was to stay like that for a while.

"I must admit, that was _very_ amusing," Optimus said, a slightly mischievous glint in his optic. I crossed my arms over my chassis.

"I got my revenge by making you and Bumblebee act like my kittens." Everyone started laughing at the memory.

Optimus facepalmed. "I am very glad I do not remember that."

"But I do! Man, that was _hilarious_!" Miko laughed. Everyone else, except Optimus and Bumblebee, who had just returned from the supply vault, agreed. I smiled but kept silent. I have the very strange feeling that Optimus and the youngling are devising a plan of their own for me.

"Anyway, thank you agreeing to fix the paint! Okay, Crystal, who's next?" Samantha sighed, rubbing her eyes. Crystal looked towards the ceiling in thought and went to grab a sheet of paper that had fallen to the floor at some point.

"It's from IBrokeThe4thWall. Here's their message.

I don't mean to embarrass you again, Ratchet, but when you used the synthetic Energon on yourself, did Jack, Miko, or Raf say anything about Old Spice commercials?

Are any of the mechs insulted that automobiles are referred to as "she" when you're really boys?

This one's the one that really matters; according to "Kiss Players", a Transformers manga, humans and Cybertronians are compatible. Do you guys know that people write fanfictions where you either fall in love with a human that they made up or with one of the kids? Does that freak you out?"

She looked up at me. I considered my question. What was this 'Old Spice'? "No, they haven't. Why?"

All the humans in the room snickered. Crystal looked at her friend.

"Samantha, you made the best impression. Do the honors, please." Said human smiled brightly and cleared her throat. Then she yelled so loudly it made me jump.

"OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY IS TOO POWERFUL TO STAY IN ITS OWN COMMERCIAAAAAAL!"

"What is the AllSpark was _that_?!" I demanded. Primus! Was this human _trying _to give me a spark attack?

"Old Spice somehow reminds me of Synthetic Energon. P-p-p-p-p-power!" Samantha said while the rest of the humans laughed. All of these creatures are so _strange_.

"Alright, next question's for the mechs of the group." Crystal stated. Bumblebee whirred and buzzed, nodding his head vigorously. Samantha shrugged.

"It figure's that someone would call you a she, especially during that little racing incident with Vince. Gorgeous muscle cars like you tend to be called that." The scout shifted in his pedes, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Why do humans refer to their vehicles as females?" Optimus asked. Samantha stopped for a second.

"I... don't know. Probably just one of those weird things humans tend to do."

Arcee answered the next question. "Cybertronians and humans can build a close relationship, but not romance. Our species have too many differences to reach that sort of relationship." We all nodded in agreement.

"I find it very unsettling that humans would imagine such pairings. I'd much rather fall for someone in my own species." I stated flatly. Samantha nodded.

"I thought you would say something like that. Who's next, Crystal?"

Crystal looked at the paper in her hand. "Uh... MidnasEpseon. This is their message.

I have one question for Arcee:  
How do you feel about your fans pairing you with Starscream and/or Knock Out?"

I looked at the femme, whose optic twitched. "I find no pleasure in my fans pairing me with either of them. I _loathe_ both of them." That response was certainly not unexpected and neither was the hatred in her voice.

"Sheesh. Harsh." Crystal cringed slightly.

"And I like Knockout... But anyway, I remember that Blazestar of Shadowclan has a question. I already know the answer to it but it's for you guys, not me. Where do sparklings come from?" Samantha glanced at all of us, but I had the strange feeling that she was aiming the question at me. I vented. I knew this question would come up at some point. Bumblebee stared at me in anticipation. I'm sure the youngling knew how sparklings came along, but just wanted to know more... _detail_. The three children were looking at me, curious about the answer. Arcee, Bulkhead and Optimus just had an amused look in their optics.

"Sparklings come about in two ways. Through the Well of AllSparks, which is currently inactive, and the way human sparklings do. One significant difference between human and Cybertronian reproduction is that either frame type, or gender, can be the carrier." I answered bluntly. I could be much more detailed than that, but I'll wait until Bumblebee is of age before I give him that talk.

"So... you can get pregnant?" I vented. Miko, of course.

"In short, yes."

"But, how?"

Samantha waved her hands around, cutting off the impending conversation. "Nope, nope, nope. We are _not_ going there. We have to keep this moving before we traumatize Miko and Raf. Next up is personality animal selection." Optimus arched an optic ridge at that. What Earth animals could possibly fit our personality traits?

"Finally! I'm doing this one." Crystal said standing up. "Okay first up is Bumblebee. The fans have selected the Bottle-Nosed Dolphin for you." Bumblebee buzzed, asking her why.

"The dolphin was chosen for you because the marine mammal is known for its playful ways and its high intelligence level. These animals are incredibly agile and fast in the water, able to reach thirty miles per hour. Though they are known for their friendly demeanor, one well placed blow from the dolphin to the gills of a Great White Shark can kill it."

Bumblebee perked up, doorwings high with pride. I smirked. From the explanation she gave, I could tell this animal matched his personality perfectly. The look in everyone's optics told me that they all agreed with the choice.

"Next: Bulkhead. The fans chose the Grizzly Bear for you. This fierce animal is known for its brute strength and sheer size. The creature is not very fast or stealthy compared to other animals but it makes up for that in fire power."

"Heh, figures." Bulkhead chuckled lightly.

"But, the bear is incredibly gentle and kind to those they care for and will protect them with all they've got. " Crystal finished off.

"Well, that does describe you well, Bulkhead." Arcee glanced up at the green mech standing by her.

Crystal pointed at the blue femme. "Arcee, your animal is the Lynx."

"What makes you say that?" She arched an amused optic ridge.

"This cat is a solitary animal and is a very effective silent hunter. They are very strong felines, despite their relatively small size compared to other cats and are very fierce in protecting their territory." Crystal explained. Arcee nodded approvingly. Samantha piped in, seeing the pleased look on Arcee's face.

"I take it you like the animal choice."

"Ratchet's choice is the Badger. This mammal is well known for being an easily angered, snappy animal. They are also known to protect their homes and young at all costs, being perfectly capable of fighting off larger predators, such as wolves or bears." I considered the fan-made choice. I can't argue with the fact that I get angry easily, however, I will do whatever I can to protect my teammates. Even it means putting my own life on the line.

"Yeah, I could see Ratchet as a badger... But he already got turned into a cat!" Bulkhead laughed. I growled, making him only laugh more.

"And last, but not least, Optimus Prime's animal choice." Everyone briefly glanced at our leader, who merely blinked back at us.

"There wasn't much debate in the fan base about this one. Optimus's animal is the Grey Wolf. The alpha male of a wolf pack can be very compassionate and caring towards its young and others in the group, but will not hesitate assert his authority when needed. They are very fierce, brave and loyal to the pack. These regal canines are well known for their strength, intelligence, and endurance."

"The grey wolf is indeed a very interesting Earth animal, though I did not think that such a creature would be associated with me." Optimus stated thoughtfully. It was not too far of a stretch of the imagination to see Optimus as a wolf, and the looks on the others' faceplates indicated that they agreed with the choice.

"So, do you all like your animals? I know I do." Samantha smiled. Everybot nodded. "Thank you, Crystal."

"You're welcome."

Samantha shook the paper lightly in her hand. "Okay, we gotta keep this moving. CatGirlFireFlare wants to give Ratchet and Bee a hug." The youngling crouched down low and Samantha strode up to him, giving his face a quick hug. Miko giggled under her breath as Samantha gave my ankle a hug next. I vented. Again with the hugs!

"Knockout'sFanGirl221 has a bunch gifts for the Autobots." Crystal commented.

"Well, let's see 'em!" Samantha said excitedly, running up to her comrade. The two of them pulled out a multitude of items from one of the opened boxes. Bulkhead's optics widened considerably. He gasped loudly.

"SCRAPLETS!" He shot the small item right out Samantha's hand, scaring the life out of the young human.

"Fraggit! Are you trying to kill me?! It's just a stuffed scraplet, not a real one!" Samantha held her wrist as Crystal frantically stomped out the little fire that had started on the stuffed creature. Honestly, if Bulkhead hadn't shot it, I'm sure Bumblebee would have. The youngling backed up considerably the instant he saw the stuffed scraplets.

"I suggest you keep those. Otherwise, Bulkhead might use them as target practice." I informed the young humans, who gained a rather horrified expression on their faces. The two of them looked over at Jack, Rafael and Miko.

"Do you want them? The fans will be awfully upset if I come back with a rejected gift." Jack just gave Samantha a look that said in the kindest way possible, that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with the plushie scraplets.

"Well, they are pretty cute..." Samantha, along with just about everyone else in the room, gave Rafael an incredulous look.

"Great, we have a taker. Here you go." Crystal handed the boy four stuffed scraplets. Once he had them all, he went over to his backpack to put them away. I arched an optic ridge. After the scraplet incident, I assumed that all the children would want nothing further to do with them, fake or real. Seeing Rafael's interest in the plushies, I am evidently wrong about that one.

"For the mechs in the group, she has fuzzy dice for each of you." Samantha handed out the dice to each of us mechs. I brought to little white furry cubes up to optic level. I have absolutely no intention using those, but Bumblebee looked like he was seriously considering it.

"Why is _Knockout'sFanGirl_ giving the _Autobots_ presents?" Arcee questioned. Now that I think about it, Knockout'sFanGirl has appeared several times in these messages. Why is a fan of the Decepticons sending us Autobots things?

"A lot of Autobot fans are also Decepticon fans. I'm a huge Megatron fangirl myself." Everyone, with the exception of Samantha, Crystal and Optimus, gasped.

"WHAT?!" Miko exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"How could you possibly be a fan of that monster?!" Jack near-shouted angrily at Samantha.

Bulkhead glared. "He was the one that started the war that destroyed Cybertron!"

Bumblebee buzzed angrily. I glowered down at the human. "Bumblebee lost his voice box to that monster! So many of our friends and family have been killed in the war _he_ started!" What in the world could she even find remotely pleasant about the warlord? I bared my denta, soundlessly snarling at the young human.

"Autobots." Optimus said quietly, calling for everyone's immediate attention. The mech looked each and every last one of us in the eyes. He crouched down, directly behind Samantha, his presence alone giving her support.

"Though Megatron is indeed our enemy, he is not _her_ enemy. Remember, she is from another dimension, where our war does not affect them in the same way it affects us in this realm. She is free to be an admirer of whoever she chooses."

"Thanks, Boss Bot. I sorta expected you to get mad at me." Samantha smiled shyly, adjusting her black Autobot insignia shirt.

Crystal looked down nonchalantly at a paper she found. "Speaking of Decepticon fangirls, soundwavesfangirl250 has a message.

Can you tell them Hi from me and I have two questions. Optimus: Was Megatron like a brother to you or is he your brother (emphasis on is)? And Arcee, if you could pick one of the mechs on base to kiss, which one would it be? Also, give each one a hug and this plush Autobot Insignia. Toodles.

Big Man is up first." The little human glanced up at our leader, who stood at full height.

"Megatron was not my sibling, though I considered him my brother before the war."

"I figured as much. Okay Arcee, who would you kiss?" Samantha slyly grinned at the blue femme. Arcee had a very pensive look in her optics before she answered.

"Bulkhead."

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" Samantha yelled excitedly, dancing around. I smirked. That was not surprising in the least. Optimus gave his second in command a very amused look from behind the battle mask he snapped over his face. The femme returned the look. Jack's jaw dropped while Bumblebee, Rafael and Miko glanced at each other and snorted, trying not to laugh. I was beginning to have a rough time myself in controlling my laughter. Bulkhead's face was priceless.

"Alright, let's move on before I say something stupid. I have to give each of you guys a hug." My shoulders slumped. _More_ hugs? After this, I am never going to want a hug again. _Ever_.

Once she was done giving hugs, she beckoned for everyone the listen to something she had to say. All the bots crouched down low to hear was she had to say. She looked around cautiously before whispering.

"Soundwavesfangirl250 has something to tell you all. Breakdown is..." Breakdown? I thought he was deceased... I listened harder to the young woman.

"...a catfish." Silence followed after her statement.

"...Why did she want us to know that?" Bulkhead asked, purely confused. We all looked to each other, as if the other bot had the answer.

"Have absolutely no idea. But that's the way fangirls are. You're not supposed to understand it. Anyway, she made this enormous plush Autobot insignia for you all. I heard she spent a really long time working on it." Samantha pulled out and fluffed up a plushie that was about as tall as she was from a previously unopened box. Bumblebee's optics spiraled wider than I thought possible at the sight of the stuffed insignia. Samantha caught the look.

"You can have this if you want it." Bumblebee made a noise that sounded like a 'yay' and took the stuffed object from her.

"Why is a fangirl of Soundwave's even giving us this?" I questioned.

"Like I said earlier, quite a few fans of the Autobots also have a favorite 'Con." Samantha answered coolly.

"Hey Samantha, we got a digital recorder from Crystal Prime. " She picked up a small white device and pressed play.

"_Say hi for me! And give Ratchet a hug for me too, he's the best in my opinion. Him and Optimus are my definite favorite Autobots. Ratchet is my top, I relate to him more than I do the others and he has humungous amount of respect from me, not only for all he does, but also because he is a medic that I would not fear. You know how hard that feat is?! Long story about that...but moving on._

_Whenever I'm sad or going through a hard time and just want to give up, 'cause even my optimism has its limits, I just think of Optimus or Ratchet and I am encouraged. Ratchet's just, well, fraggin' awesome. Words cannot properly express how awesome he is. Same goes for Optimus. I know I've never met him, and the odds of me ever doing so are so small it's kind of disheartening, but he is like the father figure I never had. He is a comfort to me and a great role model if there ever was one._

_The others are also awesome. Arcee happens to be like a sister to me, again even though I never have met her. She reminds me of my actual sister that I haven't seen in a long time...My best friend who is like a brother says she is his favorite._

_I kinda have a big sister complex toward 'Bee. He's just so cute and seems so young! I know he's a great warrior-he can kick serious aft and is awesome in battle-but I always want to beat up any 'Con who dares tries to hurt the mech._

_And Bulkhead is like...well I guess he's kind of like the big brother that I would look up to and look hearing stories from. You know...the not sad ones._

_Anyways, I should ask a question...let's see...what don't I know from all my research for my stories?...Oh! I know one! Do any of you have sparkmates? If not do you think you would ever find one? I know you all would-you're all so lovable!-but I want to know what you think."_

Crystal stopped the recording and awaited our responses. I answered first.

"I can tell Crystal Prime loves me, and I appreciate that but I am not taking anymore hugs. But I have a question of my own. Why are people so afraid of doctors?" For as long as I've been a medic, I have been trying to figure that one out. Why would you be afraid of the very person attempting to help you?

"Dude, you're getting a hug anyway." Before I could even move, the little human was hugging my ankle. I groaned at the muffled snickers I heard.

"Because doctors know every way possible to make your life like living in the Pit." Bulkhead answered. Before I could respond back, Optimus addressed his section of the recording.

"I am honored to know that I am seen as the role model and father figure for Crystal Prime. We may live in separate dimensions, but the chances of us meeting are not so small, now that Samantha invented the Inter-dim Transporter. Perhaps she can set a meeting for us."

Arcee crossed her arms over her chassis, optics softening slightly. "I haven't seen my sisters in a very long time either but I'm sure we both will see our siblings soon."

Bumblebee's left doorwing twitched as he motioned with a servo, buzzing pensively.

"Sorry, but we can't help that. You are the youngest member of the group. Of course the fans will feel protective of you." Samantha shrugged, turning to Bulkhead.

"I'm sure you have quite a few war stories to tell."

"Yeah, more than my fair share of them."

"I don't have a sparkmate." Arcee looked at the rest of us. Bumblebee buzzed. He's a bit too young to think about things like this. Bulkhead shook his head and I just said that I didn't have one. But I would like to find that special person... Everyone looked at Optimus, anticipating his answer. I already knew the answer but kept quiet.

"I do have a sparkmate, though I have not seen her in a very long time." Emotions flashed across his optics. I could see that he was reliving cherished memories with his mate, all in a few seconds.

"Please, dude, stop looking like that. I swear, he could beat a puppy at looking sad." Crystal complained after looking at Optimus for a moment.

"Sparkmate?" Rafael wondered out loud. Optimus looked down at the youngest human.

"Sparkmates are what humans would call marriage. However, each mech and femme has only one other bot that will be their future sparkmate. Each couple is selected by Primus and once the pair sparkmerge, they will remain official sparkmates for life."

"So they all work out if you guys chose the right person." Jack said.

"Correct." I answered.

"If only humans were like that..." Jack trailed off, pensive. I can tell something was one his mind, but I don't know what. Samantha shuffled the papers in her hands.

"Okay, this one is from ThreeInOne... Okay, she thinks Optimus is awesome and that Megatron and Optimus make a great pair- uh, as friends, anyway. She says sorry Megatron ever turned to the Dark Side and that, quote unquote, 'he is not the boy you once knew, Optimus.' ThreeInOne says that Bumblebee is the cutest thing to walk the face of Cybertron or Earth and that he will forever be hers. She thinks Breakdown is WAY better than Bulkhead and thinks he should die a slow and painful death. That's a bit harsh, don't you think?

"Anyway, she wants to know if Arcee would either kill Airachnid or bring back Cliffjumper. She also thinks that Arcee and Starscream make a great pair. ThreeInOne says that Ratchet is her absolute favorite and is sorry for all the pain that has been caused on him. She says he is the greatest Autobot that ever lived and is, quote unquote, the founding rock atop which all the Autobots can rise up and defeat the Decepticons. Man... ThreeInOne has a lot to say!" Samantha smiled and looked at all of us for our responses to that... long message.

"I appreciate the compliment, but why do humans in your dimension have such a fascination in my enemy's relations with me?" Optimus unconsciously cocked his head to the side, gazing down at Samantha. I looked down at her as well. Why _are_ they so interested in their relationship? I thought that it was clear that they are archenemies.

"You two are just really easy to mess with. Plus, your previous friendship with the warlord just takes the fans' imagination to another level." Samantha answered casually.

"...I never knew Megatron when he was a youngling." Optimus wore a slightly confused look on his faceplates.

"Fangirls. You're not supposed to understand them." Samantha waved him off, remaining casual. Responding to his section of the message, Bumblebee vigorously shook his helm and buzzed.

"Don't worry, no one's kidnapping you. Plus, a lot of fans think you are adorable! Did you see the size of your fan base? Your cuteness plays a role in the size of that crowd!" Samantha exclaimed.

"...Why does she hate me? I came pretty close to dying, wasn't that enough for her?" Bulkhead rubbed his helm. I looked down slightly. I hope nothing like that ever happens again. Bulkhead is a strong mech, but I was still worried about Bulkhead's condition. For a while I feared that he would never fully recover. Thank Primus I was wrong.

Samantha shrugged. "Well, everyone here has people who hate them. Why, is a question I can't answer for them."

"I would without a doubt bring back Cliff. I may hate Airachnid with a passion, but I'd rather have Cliffjumper back. And I am not even going to address the second statement." Arcee crossed her arms over her chest, looking nowhere is particular.

"Another fangirl of mine? I am hardly one to lead the Autobots to anything." I huffed. I saw just how unprepared I was for leadership when Optimus lost his memory. It was sad that the calmest one throughout that entire incident was Jack.

"Oh and she sent over a CD for you guys to listen to. I'd use the radio I brought but it would be better if I use the speakers over there. Raf, can I use your laptop for a second?" Samantha grabbed a disk from a box and turned to Rafael.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Thanks." The young woman went over to the laptop that happened to be sitting on top of one of Miko's speakers and opened the disk tray to put the CD inside. A very interesting song played out.

"_Transformers!_  
_Something evil's watching over you._  
_Comin' from the sky above._  
_And there's nothing you can do._

_Prepare to strike!_  
_There'll be no place to run._  
_When you're caught within the grip_  
_of the evil Unicron!_

_Transformers!_  
_More than meets the eye._  
_Transformers!_  
_Robots in Disguise._

_Strong enough to break the bravest heart._  
_So we have to pull together._  
_We can't stay worlds apart!_

_To stand divided we will surely fall._  
_Until our darkest hour,_  
_When the light will save us all!_

"These lyrics _mysteriously _sound like something Optimus would say." I smirked, looking over at our leader. He was focused on listening to the song, so he never noticed the look.

_Transformers!_  
_More than meets the eye._  
_Transformers!_  
_Robots in Disguise._  
_Transformers!_

_Autobots wage their battle_  
_to destroy the evil forces_  
of... the Decepticons!

_Transformers... Transformers!_

"That's a rockin' guitar solo! I've gotta learn how to do that!" Miko's eyes glittered at the sound of the instrument taking the place of the lyrics at the moment.

_It's judgment day and now we've made our stand._  
_And now the powers of darkness_  
_Have been driven from our land._

_The Battle's over but the war has just begun._  
_And this way it will remain 'til the day when all are one!_

_Transformers!_  
_Transformers!_  
_Transformers!_  
_Transformers!_  
_More than meets the eye!_

_Transformers!_

The song ended abruptly with the guitar. Jack was the first one to speak up.

"The song was great but it sound's kind of old. When was it made?"

Samantha stared at the ceiling for a second. "I think it was made in 1986 by Stan Bush for the Transformers movie."

"The Bots get a movie, too?!" Miko gasped. Samantha nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah, they have... four as of now. The one from 1986, Transformers from 2007, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen from 2009 and Transformers: Dark of the Moon from 2011. The 1986 one made me kinda mad, though."

"Why, what was wrong with it?" Crystal asked.

"They killed Optimus, that's what I didn't like about it!"

"What?! How could they do that?" Raf exclaimed from his place next to Bumblebee's pede. The youngling buzzed angrily, agree with Rafael.

"Calm down, you guys! Another Optimus Prime died, not _your_ Optimus Prime!"

"Wait a minute. So there's more than one Optimus?" Arcee arched an optic ridge at the young woman.

"More than one Transformers dimension is a better way of saying it."

"H-how many Transformers dimensions are there?" Rafael adjusted his glasses and looked up at Samantha. She started counting on her fingers. Primus, were there that many Transformers dimensions?

"Let's see... the first one, consisting of Generations One and Two... and the 1986 movie all count as one single continuity... Transformers: Armada, Transformers: Energon, and Transformers: Cybertron. There's also the 2007 Bay-verse Transformers movies... So I guess that counts. There is Robots in Disguise, The Beast Wars, and the Unicron Trilogy. The last two are Transformers Animated and the one you guys live in, Transformers Prime. I think... No, there are a few more-"

"So basically, there are a lot of Transformers dimensions." Crystal cut in. Samantha nodded in agreement.

"Since Transformers Prime is the latest Transformers series, there are references to the other series and movies. In the beginning of episode Nemesis Prime, Agent Fowler was listening to a song called 'The Touch' in his car, originally from the Generation One series, typically heard during climatic battle scenes. Remember when Ratchet was rambling about a guy named Bantor?" Samantha looked around, expecting an answer. Jack and Rafael both nodded while Miko snorted, trying not to laugh. I vented. This again.

"Well, Bantor was a major character in the Beast Wars. He was a mandrill tiger robot. And apparently Ratchet was the one who gave him the mechanical tiger parts. But what I don't get is how Doc Bot knew this when Bantor doesn't exist here! ...Since Bantor doesn't exist here, I guess he was just a figment of Ratchet's imagination. What _were_ you dreaming about, anyway?" She turned to stare at me. I just glared at her.

"How in the _Pit_ am I supposed to know? I usually don't remember my dreams."

"Although, that would be interesting. Being able to see what goes on in the dreams of the oldest Autobot here... Could be war memories... Or just about random crazy dream crap... But anyway, we're getting off course. This next one is from ScreamInDisguise."

I arched an optic ridge at that. That was obviously a human going as Starscream... or the other way around... If this was from Starscream, how in the fragging Pit did he get in contact with Samantha? I kept quiet. despite my resurfacing doubts about Samantha and waited for her to read the message for us.

"To Optimus Prime, first ask him how he first met Megatron. Then ask him if he's got a thing going on with Elita-One. Also ask him if he were in a death match with Grimlock and Megatron, who would walk out alive?  
To Bumblebee, tell him that I think he's amazing, and that I will rip out Megatron's spark for tearing out his voicebox.  
To Bulkhead, tell him I'm sorry, but I don't really like him that much. Also mention that Miko has a super crush on him.  
To Arcee...I hate her. I absolutely, completely, without fault LOATHE her! Just because I made one little mistake in killing Cliffjumper and accidentally mentioned it doesn't mean...uh, hehe, looks like I got off topic. Tell her that I love her with all my spark and have always loved her. And that I'm sorry. Please take me back.  
To Ratchet, tell him I liked him better on Synth-En.  
Also mention that Starscream is the most amazing, talented, fantastic, charming, good-looking, intelligent mech to ever walk the face of Earth or Cybertron. Because it's true."

"Yeah, that sounds a whole like Starscream. How did he know about your dimension?" Bulkhead glared down at Samantha and Crystal, suspicion written all over his face. There was a hidden and legitimate accusation in his voice. The only way for him to actually know about their dimension is if Samantha had previously contacted the seeker at some point. I glared at them along with him.

"I sure hope that's not Starscream. Besides, he'd have to contact me. When I walked through the Ground Bridge was the first time I made any contact with anything from a dimension that wasn't my own. But, come on, guys. Let's respond to this one." Samantha urged. Hmmm... If she wanted to do any real damage, she would have already done so. If she were working with the 'Cons, they would already be here. Plus, she knows how to operate to Ground Bridge. I huffed. She means no harm. Yet.

Optimus ventilated. "I met Megatronus after one of his rallying speeches. We had set up a meeting to discuss plans on how to correct the injustices of our world. After that, we began to meet regularly."

"You know, you're kinda encouraging a slash fic right now."

Our leader looked at Samantha.

"What? I can't help it. anyway, I can answer one of those. There ain't no little 'thing' going on between Boss Bot and Elita. They're sparkmates!"

Bumblebee beeped and whirred, optics sparkling with joy. Rafael stared up at our leader. "Is that true?"

"Yes it is, Raf."

"Where is she?"

The most hurt look I have ever seen flashed across Optimus's faceplates before he answered. "That I do not know." Rafael's shoulders slumped.

"Sorry for asking."

Optimus gave the boy a very small smile. "My own problems are not the fault of your own. As for my next question... may I ask, who is 'Grimlock'?"

"Ah, Grimlock is a Dinobot, created by G1 Wheeljack. Basically a robotic T-Rex." Crystal clarified. I remember hearing the name earlier...

"From what I have seen and been through, I would say Megatron would win the battle."

"I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!" Miko shouted angrily. Samantha chuckled lightly.

"Denial like that usually means yes."

"More people that don't like me." Bulkhead shrugged. When it came to this, Bulkhead couldn't care less who liked him and who didn't. Bumblebee buzzed, doorwings twitching.

"Ouch, Bee. I hope you know that's not the real Starscream." Samantha crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

"Tell Starscream that I loathe him right back." Arcee growled lowly, clenching her servos tightly. I shook my helm sadly. We all have learned that mentioning the death of Cliffjumper is never a wise idea. Starscream has a scar on his face now to prove that her anger can get the better of her.

"For God's sake! This person is not Starscream!" Samantha yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.

I put a servo on one half of my face and dragged in down. "Will you people stop mentioning the Synth-En?"

"Hoo-ah!" My left optic twitched at the word.

"What? In military lingo, it means yes or 'I understand'." Samantha held her hands up in surrender. If one more person mentions the Synthetic Energon, I swear by Primus, I might kill someone.

Samantha cleared her throat. "As for the most amazing, talented, fantastic, charming, good-looking, intelligent mech to ever walk the face of Earth or Cybertron... Sorry, bud, but that place had already been taken by Ratchet."

"Hey, Samantha?"

"Yeah, Crystal?"

"We spent two hours and fourty-five minutes here."

Samantha gasped. "SHIT! Okay, we got time for one more. This one is from DreamEuphoria. I memorized hers.

One: How do they eat? I know Energon is their fuel, but how do they put it into their bodies when they're low on energy?

Two: Do they go toilets? If not, do they release any waste products? ( Heheeeee...I always wanted to know!)

Three: What exactly makes Optimus happy? What makes him laugh?

Four: I always wanted to know, even though Optimus isn't Jack's, Miko's or Raf's guardian, he loves them all the same, does he?"

"We just drink energon. Nothing complicated about it." Arcee arched an optic ridge at the question. "And we just empty our waste tanks and incinerate the remains."

"What makes me happy is when the rest of you are safe, sound and out of harm's way." Optimus mused. Samantha's face could only be described by _this_ emoticon I saw once while exploring the Internet: T.T

"Typical Optimus Prime response." She sounded very disappointed. I think I'll fix that.

"He's ticklish." Being a medic does have its perks.

Optimus gave me a sharp look, which I ignored. "Ratchet."

"Seriously? I'm going to remember this one." Arcee muttered, her optics glittering mischievously as she looked at our leader. I know exactly where this going... And I just might join in. Our leader does need to laugh a little.

"And I do appreciate all three of you, since you are part of my team." Optimus attempted to continue, voice shaking ever so slightly. Bumblebee strode over to him and started lightly poking him.

"Oh admit it Boss Bot. Ya love 'em."Samantha laughed as she watched Bumblebee intently trying to tickle our leader. Optimus was grinding his denta, trying not the laugh. I smiled slowly walking over to our leader.

"Come now, Optimus. We need to laugh a little." With that, I launched myself at him, knocking him down. I proceeded to swipe my digits quickly and expertly over his sensitive midsection. Bumblebee joined right in, overwhelming Optimus.

"HAHAHAHA S-STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" I smiled and tickled him more, ignoring the crazy looks the others were giving us. For once I can act like a youngling and not give a slag. Optimus's laugh was very pleasant on the ears. Rich and true to the spark.

"Wow. Just... wow."

"Hey Arcee? Can you bridge Crystal and I out to these coordinates?"

"Sure."

"BULKHEAD- HEHHEHHEHHEH- I AM IN N-N-NEED OF ASSIST!" Bumblebee chirped and laughed and we both tickled our leader who was starting to tear up from laughing so hard. I heard more conversing over our leader's laughing.

"What's that?"

"A homemade Decepticon homing beacon."

"...Oh. "

I found myself laughing as Optimus threw Bumblebee and I off and proceeded to give me the worst tickle session I've had since I was just a sparkling. He got me right on the fuel tanks, one of the most sensitive places on my frame. I'm too old for all this!

"You got everything for the Cons?"

"Yep."

"Alright, wish us luck! We'll be back in about four hours."

I heard a chorus of goodbyes and the Ground Bridge shut down. When did it activate in the first place? I heard a camera shutter go off, but paid little attention to it.

"Miko!" Bulkhead laughed.

"What? This is the most epic tickle fight I have ever seen!"

I could hardly vent properly with that glitch of a Prime tickling me. I held up my hand is surrender, trying to defend myself.

"I give up! I'm done, I'm done!" He finally let me up after I surrendered. The three of us sat there on the floor like sparklings, staring at each other. Suddenly Bumblebee just fell back and burst out laughing. Optimus and I chuckled. That was the most fun I've had in vorns. I spotted Arcee standing near the Ground Bridge control panel, shaking her head.

"How do I live with you mechs and _not_ go insane?"

**Okay... that was SUPER long. But so fun to do! How was that, you guys? I am doing the Cons next. I'll be telling the chaps from Soundwave's POV or Knockout's. I tried to get to as many as I could here before I moved over to the Cons. I'll come back to the Bots. Cross my heart and hope to cry!  
**

** So... If you could ask, say or give anything to any of the Decepticons, what would it be?**

**I have no clue how many typos are in here. Hopefully not too many. I'll fix them later. It's three o'clock in the morning and I have to go to school in five hours.  
**

******See you in the next chap!**

******...Scrap. Laserbeak just kidnapped me and I'm trapped on the _Nemesis_. Soundwave was not kidding about that transmission. I guess I'll be talking to Megatron real soon. I think I'm his prisoner now.**

******Oh, wait, I can hear Megzy coming towards my cell. Wish me luck, and hope I survive this!  
**


End file.
